Encouraging One Another

by Steph Beth Nickel

Most of us equate encouragement with positivity. But there is another side to true encouragement. Sometimes we need correction. At other times, we are the ones offering the correction. How can we do so in a way that encourages rather than disheartens the other person?

I’ve received this type of encouragement, have sought to give it, and have witnessed it as a third party as well.

Below are some pointers to keep in mind.

Correcting with Compassion

Recently I witnessed this form of correction in a way that brought tears to my eyes. The recipient of the needed correction humbly accepted it. In fact, they sought it. And the encouragement? Onlookers were instructed on how not to make the situation worse and how to offer compassion in the midst of everything. Personally, I’ve never seen this type of thing handled with such grace.

And while critiquing and editing my clients’ work cannot really be compared to how this situation was handled, there are applicable lessons for editors and writers alike.

So, whether you’re a professional editor, a critique partner, or a writer seeking input on your work, here are three things to keep in mind:

1. First, point out what the client or writer has done well. Do so sincerely and honestly. And if you’re looking for others to review your writing, find those who will point out the specifics of your work that not only need strengthening but also those that make them want to keep reading.
2. As writers, we do have to develop a thick skin of sorts. We must recognize that editors, critique partners, and our general readership won’t always see things as we do. Sometimes, they will offer edits and critiques that we find discouraging. We may become defensive or discouraged. When these corrections are offered with compassion, we may find it easier to revise our work. When the advice seems harsh, it is our responsibility to humbly accept the correction even so. (Thus, the need for a thick skin.)
3. Remember that some perceived weaknesses in another’s writing are subjective. When pointing out these things, we may want to phrase it more gently than when pointing out specifics that are actually mistakes (i.e., when a character’s physical traits change inexplicably or when the writer uses the incorrect homophone, etc.). Sometimes, I begin such a comment with “I would suggest…” And if we’re the writer, we must recognize that some comments are subjective—even if not worded as such. Humbly accepting correction is good but knowing when to stand our ground is also important.

Questions to Consider

Have you received correction that was offered with genuine compassion?

Does this type of correction encourage you to shore up the weaknesses in your writing? And if you haven’t received this type of correction, do you think it would make the revision process less discouraging?

How do you offer this kind of encouragement to others?

Are there ways you feel challenged to offer correction with more compassion?

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As an editor, Steph Beth Nickel has the honour of coming alongside writers to help them polish their work. As the coauthor of Paralympian Deb Willows’s memoirs, Steph has been blessed to work with this amazing woman. And as a future self-published author, with the Lord’s help, Steph has taken brave steps toward publication.

If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.