Tag Archives: fear

Overloaded

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“I’ve been working my heart out for the God-of-the-Angel-Armies,” said Elijah. “The people of Israel have abandoned your covenant, destroyed the places of worship, and murdered your prophets. I’m the only one left, and now they’re trying to kill me.”
1 Kings 19:10, MSG*

Elijah’s conversation with God comes after my favourite of his exploits, when he taunted the prophets of Baal in a public showdown. (You can read that story in 1 Kings 18.)

That event may be the pinnacle of Elijah’s career. And God showed up in power. Yet here the prophet is, not long after, running scared from evil Queen Jezebel.

Surely the God of fire and miracles could handle a vicious queen and her henchmen, but Elijah isn’t thinking about God.

Look at what he says—and he says it twice in the chapter—he’s thinking about himself.

The mighty prophet of God is having a self-pity party.

I’m not pointing any fingers. I’ve been there, and for far less reason. You probably have too.

Commentators say Elijah was depressed, that it was a personality thing. Maybe so. But this time I read the story I saw something else.

I think Elijah started wearing too much of the responsibility. He lived a high-profile, dangerous life, speaking God’s words of judgement to a king who didn’t want to hear them. What he said, and what he did, revealed God.

It was God’s power that burned the drenched sacrifice on the rebuilt stone altar, but did Elijah get too involved in shouting at the priests of Baal? Did he start taking the fight too personally?

Don’t we do that sometimes? God’s doing His part, but all of a sudden we’re carrying loads He never asked us to carry?

In his hurt, though, Elijah shows us what to do. He goes to God. He gets alone with God, and even though he spills out his whole “poor me” rant, Elijah hears God. God meets him there. And Elijah doesn’t leave that place until God sends him out.

Mighty and holy God, You are well able to work through Your people when we obey You, but sometimes we start looking at the work more than at the One who sends us. Moses and Elijah had these moments, and we do too. In Your patient mercy, please help us see when we go off-track, and please draw us back to Yourself to sit in quiet and renew our spirits. Teach us to trust You in all things instead of trying to forge ahead in our own power. Teach us to rest in You.  

∞

Instead of a song this week, I have two other links for you:

At Choose NOW Ministries, Amber Frank talks about Finding time for the One who matters most.

And at Christian Work at Home Ministries, Jill Hart shares a video devotional about Missing the Point.

*The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Free from Fear

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I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.
Psalm 34:4, NLT*

Anointed as the future king of Israel, as a young man David spent years on the run from the current king, Saul. When he first fled from Saul’s palace, leaving behind his wife and his best friend, David went to the enemy Philistines for refuge.

The Philistines recognized him, and David realized his life was still in danger. He pretended to be insane, and the Philistine king sent him away. (You can read the story in 1 Samuel 21:10-14.)

Psalm 34 looks back on that experience. The introductory note uses a different name for the king (Abimilech instead of Achish) but according to the Geneva Bible, “Abimilech” was a term used for all the Philistine kings.

In that context, today’s verse makes me stop and think. David said “He freed me from all my fears.”

God kept David safe and got him out of the Philistines’ clutches, but David knew Saul still wanted to kill him. And David had an honourable streak that wouldn’t let him kill Saul first.

David’s reason for fear—Saul—was very much alive and well. But David declared that he’d been set free from all his fears.

To me, that suggests an important distinction. Maybe it echoes another David-psalm where he rejoices that his Shepherd is even with him in the dark valley under death’s shadow. (Psalm 23)

The danger hadn’t changed, but David had. Fear didn’t own him anymore.

This wasn’t David’s first experience with God’s trustworthiness. Growing up, he faced down lions and other predators. Then he acted in faith to kill the giant, Goliath. (1 Samuel 17)

I think he fled from Saul in disappointment, discouragement and panic. And somehow, his experience with the Philistines reminded him where he needed to put his trust.

Even when we can’t change our circumstances, we can change how we respond. We don’t have to act insane like David did, but we can choose to rely on our strong God.

My theme message in my novel, Heaven’s Prey, is “Whatever happens, Jesus will be there.” I think that’s what David remembered in his moment of Philistine-induced terror. It’s what I need to remember every time fear or anxiety start to whisper.

It isn’t easy, and it’s not a one-time deal for most of us. It often starts with bringing God our fears, and saying “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:14-29)

He will.

We will still feel fear. But we don’t need to be afraid, bound by that fear. Our God is bigger.

God, our strong and mighty refuge, You promised to never leave us, and to shepherd and shield us. Whether you lead us through easy terrain or dangerous paths, help us remember that You are with us. Help us trust Your love. We know that doesn’t mean we’ll live pain-free, happy lives, but whatever  happens, You will be with us to carry us through, to Your glory and ultimately for our good.

∞

Let these words from Jeremy Camp sink into our spirits today: “Trust in You (I Will Not Be Afraid).”

*New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Unbelief, or Rest?

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So we see that because of their unbelief they were not able to enter his rest.
Hebrews 3:19, NLT*

“They” were the Israelites, led by Moses. The people who heard God’s voice on the mountain and begged in terror not to hear it again. The people who experienced the plagues in Egypt, the parting of the Red Sea, the manna in the desert. The people who swore to follow and obey God.

Hebrews 3:16-18 says they rebelled, made God angry, sinned. Disobeyed Him. Not just with the golden calf, but by refusing to enter the Promised Land because they trusted their fears more than they trusted God.

A lot of their disobedience came from unbelief. Aren’t we the same?

Sometimes we don’t believe because we don’t want to—we don’t want to obey, or to let go of our own ways or understandings.

But sometimes we don’t believe because we’re afraid. That’s when we need to pray, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.” (See Mark 9:22-24)

God knows our weakness, and He wants us to get it right. He wants us to enter His rest, that’s why He invited us. We only need to ask.

Thank You, God, that You don’t disqualify us for our weakness, but You invite us to ask for help. Thank You for such grace and love to help us, again and again, when we’re in need. Help us remember to ask You—help us believe and obey.

∞

We had this song back in November, but it fits again here: Brian Doerksen’s “Enter the Rest of God.”

*New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Fear as Opportunity

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Stress and pressure are like strong winds. They knock us off our feet and send us tumbling, flailing for support.

As long as we keep God at our backs, we can stand.

I often use the prayer picture of a piece of paper, wind-plastered against a cliff, pressed so tightly against the rock face that you can see every groove and jut in the rock.

Isn’t that our prayer as Christians? “Lord, shape me to be like You.”

Life’s struggles are often His best tools.

So why hadn’t I recognized that fear is only another tool? Carolyn Watts writes that “fear can be an asset—if we learn how to let it lead us closer to Jesus.” (see How to Turn Fear into an Asset)

Or as a good friend said to me the other day, “Fear is a driver—it can drive you to God, or deeper into fear. Pray to choose wisely.”

This puts fear in the same category as trials, temptations, stresses and even gifts: something God can use in our lives to develop perseverance and endurance. Instead of freezing up or shrinking inward, we can invite Jesus into our fear, ask Him to use it to draw us closer to Him—to let it press us into His likeness.

We can praise Him and rejoice over what He’s going to do, even though we can’t yet see what that will be.

Thanking God in our fear, instead of letting it close us off from Him… this is delightfully subversive and not at all what the enemy of our souls has in mind, I’m sure. But it matches Scripture: “For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow,” (James 1:3, NLT) and “Be thankful in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18a, NLT).

It comes down to this: who/what do we believe is stronger, God or fear? The loyalty to God that I’ve been reading about in the Book of James gives me my answer.

Not that I’m going to welcome fear, to throw open the door and invite it in, but this breaks its power. This lets me press into God, lets me know I’m in good hands and it’ll be okay. No matter what.

[If fear is one of your struggles, I highly recommend following the posts at Hearing the Heartbeat, beginning with How Do You Hear God’s Don’t Be Afraid?]

Fog

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The lighthouse at Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia, in the fog

The lighthouse at Peggy’s Cove, Nova Scotia, in the fog
Photo credit: Janet Sketchley

I love to walk in the fog. My world shrinks, cocooned in a soft, grey blanket. I feel peaceful and secure. Given that I live in Atlantic Canada’s coastal region, that’s probably a good thing.

Fog simply is. It has no intent, benevolent or malicious. Our individual natures shape how it affects us. Some thrive in it, while others feel oppressed and caged in. It saps their energy and weighs them down.

Our lives are often a lot like that. Things happen that are outside of our control. Panic wells up inside of us when events seem to be moving too fast, or taking a direction we don’t like. How should we respond? Who knows what’s ahead?

We can’t choose our circumstances any more than our favourite weather patterns. They come to us, filtered through God’s loving fingers. The only control we have is over our choice of response.

In a way, it’s like driving in the fog. We creep along, wearing down the brake pads and straining to see ahead. The limits are suddenly too close. What was perfectly safe for a pedestrian doesn’t allow enough reaction time at a faster pace, and the headlights reflect back at us instead of showing the way.

It’s different when we’re passengers. As long as we trust the driver’s ability, we may as well  relax. We have neither control over nor responsibility for a safe arrival at our destination. The decisions are out of our hands. We can fret or enjoy the ride; the results will be the same.

If our lives are a journey, travelling sometimes through poor visibility, sometimes through clear sunlight, where would we rather be, behind the wheel or in the passenger seat? (Well, truthfully, I’d like to take over in the sunny places!)

God is our Creator. He is somehow bigger than time, not limited by it like we are. The Bible says He knows the end from the beginning, and the Old Testament prophets have shown this to be true.

He knows what the future hides from us. We’re free to choose our own way, but accepting His wise guidance gives us a better chance. It’s as if He’s the cartographer who drew the map. Suddenly the limited vision, the daunting unknowns, cease to threaten. He understands the dangers, and can navigate us through them. And He will never abandon us.

The Psalmist declared that even when his path was dark and dangerous, he would fear no evil, because God would be with him to comfort and protect him. When our road gets bumpy, and the fog closes in on us, God is holding the wheel. He can get us safely to the end of our journey. I’m glad it’s not up to us.

[This post first appeared as an article in the Spring 1999 issue of Esprit.]

Masquerade: Am I a Fraud? Guest Post by Deb Elkink

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Masks

MASQUERADE: AM I A FRAUD?

Guest Post by Deb Elkink

My character Ebenezer MacAdam owns Incognito Costume Shop and individually recommends rentals based on a client’s personal character. He says,

I’d like to think the purpose of my costumes has been to reveal the real in this masked and disguised generation. But on a grander scale, I myself am being unmasked and my failure laid open to my own view. So many of my years I spent fearing to be discovered for the fraud I really am. Yet here it is the autumn of my life and I stand naked, as it were, before a Judge more kindly than myself. (The Third Grace, p. 74)

Eb’s words issue from a conflicted spot in my own soul. I’d like to think the purpose of my writing is to speak a message of truth to this generation and yet—like him—the very act of my service exposes me to the truth of my own shortcomings. Doesn’t my choice of words (like his choice of costumes) say more about my own heart attitude than that of the reader whose heart I’m judging?

Masked woman

  • I, too, fear being found out for the fraud I really am.

It started early in my life—this suspicion that I wasn’t all that I wished I were or that I portrayed myself to be. When I memorized my spelling list and won the elementary bee, I was self-satisfied but suspected the triumph was a fluke. When I earned honours in graduate school, I delighted in the accomplishment but credited grade inflation. Innately knowing that proficiency can become the breeding ground of pride, I tend to demur: “Oh no, I’m not that talented. It was luck. I don’t deserve the praise.”

There’s actually a psychological label slapped on this condition when it’s pathological: “Imposter Syndrome.” I rush to say that I’ve not been diagnosed; most healthy people to some degree attribute success to luck, reject compliments, or think, “Anyone could have done this.” I suspect it’s a well-intentioned attempt at humility.

  • What’s the line between humility and hypocrisy?

Jesus denounced as hypocrites those who ostentatiously fulfilled religious responsibility for public applause, describing the sanctimonious Pharisees with hearts full of greed and self-indulgence as whitewashed tombs and dirty cups (Matt. 6:2, 5, 16; 23:25-28). The word “hypocrite” comes from the Greek stage, where an actor would hold up a mask indicating one emotion while displaying a juxtaposing facial expression revealing his true feelings. “These people honour me with their lips,” Jesus said, “but their heart is far from me” (Matt. 15:8 NIV). Hypocrites receive their reward in this life; no reward awaits them in Heaven.

The deciding factor between true humility and the falseness of hypocrisy, then, seems to be the heart intention of the worshipper/writer; honouring the Lord with my lips/keyboard for temporal reward isn’t synonymous with bringing my heart close to Him. The very public nature of writing for reader feedback (comment on a blog, payment for an article, placement in a competition) forces me to investigate my motives.

Lacy Mask

  • Does my façade match my heart attitude?

The sixteenth-century Reformer John Calvin wrote in his Institutes (1.1.1-2),

Without knowledge of self, there is no knowledge of God . . . Without knowledge of God there is no knowledge of self.

The only way to know God is through His Word (Living via Written). Humility is seeing myself as I really am, in light of God’s gifting. When I look clearly and honestly at my own heart, I am driven back into the Bible, where I must face my motivation and ask myself truly:

  • Do I write for recognition by my readers or for reward by my Creator?

The stardust of long-awaited, hard-won, now-realized publication threatens to blind me. The only way I see to avoid hypocrisy—that veneer of false humility—is to face the “shaming nakedness” (as Calvin put it) of my own insufficient human efforts. This readies me for the revelation of the righteousness that exists in God alone, the thrill of embracing His gifts to me. I can see myself in perspective not as I measure up to my idea of authorial success but only as I see God’s flawless provision for my imperfection. On this basis I take joy in unearned grace (of salvation, of course, but also of ongoing achievements) while simultaneously facing my fear of exposure without hiding behind a mask of self-effacement. God is the ground of my humility, the Giver of all gifts for the purpose of His glory.

  • I find writing to be a humbling and unmasking experience.

Deb ElkinkDeb Elkink, recipient of the 2012 Grace Irwin Award (sponsored by The Word Guild) for her debut novel, The Third Grace, writes from her cottage on the banks of a creek in southern Alberta. Visit her sometime: www.debelkink.com.

The Third Grace book coverWatch the book trailer for The Third Grace, and read a review of The Third Grace. Check out all the stops on Deb’s blog tour, and maybe win a Kindle Fire HD.

Photo credits: Colourful window of masks: Deb Elkink; Lacy black masks: Lorenda Harder. Photos used by permission.

Thoughts that Sting

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Choose…

which thoughts to

dwell on,

entertain,

agree with,

feed.

Choose life.

God has been reclaiming the garden of my heart from an infestation of negative thoughts. I had no idea how many of the enemy’s lies I’d bought, nor how deeply they’d rooted. I’m so grateful that He loves me enough to confront me with the problem, and to forgive me when I acknowledged my part in letting them take hold.

Listen to the father of lies? Believe what he says? Why in the world would a person do that?

But he makes them sound so reasonable, and they attach to our fears and masquerade as truth. Maybe that’s how to discern the difference: does the thought seem to confirm my fears, stir my anxiety? Or does it resonate with my spirit? I really need to check each thought at the mental garden gate and ask for ID. Friend, or foe? Prove it. 

Wasps in a nest

Wasps’ nest. Photo credit: Janet Sketchley

Not long ago, I was outside in a quiet spot, pondering what I’m (still) learning. A wasp flew into my space, September-stupid and slow. Instead of retreating like I’d do in with an aggressive summer wasp, I shooed it away with my hand.

It came back; I shooed it again. After a few times, it went away.

In the stillness, it seemed like God was asking, “Did you get that?”

I think I did.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8, NLT*

*New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Joy and Security

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Because you are my helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;
your strong right hand holds me securely.
Psalm 63:7-8, NLT*

I’ve been reading this psalm daily for a few weeks now, and although it’s short, it’s powerful. David is longing for God, and he’s aware of his enemies pressing in, yet the verses overflow with words like praise and joy and sing. He has his faith perspective in place.

I know about pressing through in prayer, bringing God our fears and troubles. Leaving those troubles with Him. Praying until it becomes about Him rather than about us. Until we’re worshipping. Praising.

I don’t do it nearly as often as I should.

That’s what David’s doing here. He hasn’t forgotten the desert or his enemies’ plots. He’s not denying or ignoring them.

But he sees God. He knows God is enough.

He’s not perching timidly in the shadow of God’s wings, trembling in that strong hand because the danger might snatch him away. He has no thought that God might drop him or fail to protect him.

Our God, You are strong and mighty to save. You are our strong tower, our refuge, our shelter and our Defender. You are our Good Shepherd. We know the words, but so often we don’t act like we believe them. We run to You and keep watching our troubles as if they might break through Your defenses. Faith tells us that can’t happen. Help us listen and be confident in You.

∞

The classic Newsboys worship song, “Strong Tower,” is a good confidence-builder.

*New Living Translation (NLT)Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

5 Links on Anxiety, Plus a Song

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Replace anxiety with trust

Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks. ~Philippians 4:6, CEB*

Here are some links I’ve found recently that can speak peace to anxiety:

From author Dan Walsh: Living and ‘Staying’ in Today, and The Slippery Slope of Anxious Thoughts.

From Roy Lessin at Meet Me in the Meadow: Fret-Buster 104 looks at some of the costs of anxiety.

Guest-posting at The Write Conversation, Reba J Hoffman shares 4 insights that can help us stop giving in to fear.

At A Word of Encouragement, Laura Hodges Poole talks about Life’s Dark Hallways.

And take time to listen to Peter Furler‘s song, Hold On. 

*Common English Bible (CEB) Copyright © 2011 by Common English Bible

Relying on the Truth

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I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
Psalm 16:8, NLT*

Sometimes we just need to declare the truth and choose to believe it, whether it feels true or not.

God is patiently retraining my responses to stressful or fear-inducing situations, and my part is to remember—and rely on—the truth.

Travelling to and from Write! Canada the other week let me practice. My route to the conference involved two planes, a commuter train and a bus. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I actually suspect God allowed me to miss my train stop as part of the lesson. Not that He caused me to forget, but it was just after that stop a thought popped up: check where you’re supposed to get off.

It really was good practice to get off at the next stop muttering “I have a good Shepherd” and using the truth to subdue the muscles that wanted to clench. I repeated it in my mind when I had to ask a transit information worker for help.

My Shepherd had a friendly person on the desk, who didn’t yell at me or make me feel stupid. Instead, she told me what bus to take from there. No backtracking, no paying a second fare.

This retraining will be ongoing for some time, but after all, it took years for the problem to get this deeply entrenched. And it’s getting easier as long as I stay on guard.

God who rules the universe and yet who knows our smallest need, thank You for Your care. You love us, You save us, and You don’t leave us in the messes where You find us. Thank You for the truth in Your Word. Help us use all the armour of Christ and to cooperate with You in working out our salvation. Thank You that who the Son sets free is free indeed.

∞

As an echo to today’s verse, here is Vineyard Music’s “I Will Not Be Shaken.”

*New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.