Do you ever feel anxious? Under pressure, real or imagined? God has proved Himself faithful in my life, but my family would tell you I can still turn anything into a source of stress.
I’m guest posting today at The Borrowed Book, and I’ve shared what I’m learning about guarding (or reclaiming) my mental peace.
Interested? Click here: Deconstructing Anxiety.
We Must Remain Teachable, by Steph Beth NickelI can’t remember not being a Christian. I believe I went from a childish faith right into a childlike faith. And by now, with the dawn of my 55th year on the horizon, you’d think I would have it all together—or at least be well on the way.
I wish!
I have been working through Larry and Kathy Miller’s most recently released book, Never Ever Be the Same. And wow! Do I have a lot to learn! (I hope to read through it every six months or so and see what new things God will show me.)
And as I was going to sleep one night last week, worried about a hasty decision I’d made, the Lord gently reminded me that I couldn’t serve two masters. I didn’t even know I’d been serving money. But since I was giving our financial situation much too much thought, worrying about it, and trying to figure out how I could fix it, I had been. Oh my!
This wasn’t the first such revelation over the years. One day, quite some time ago, I asked God why I wasn’t happier about a wonderful event that had happened in my sister’s life, the fulfilment of her heart’s desire. When I realized the self-centred, humbling answer to my inquiry, the Lord reminded me He knew about my motives all along and loved me regardless. Wow! Talk about grace!
Years ago, I asked God to “tear off the Band-Aid™,” as it were. I didn’t want to become aware of my sin bit by bit. I knew I could trust Him to bring the healing even though the process would often leave me raw and vulnerable.
As I dig into God’s Word in order to prepare devotionals for HopeStreamRadio, I am constantly amazed by two things. One, there are details in Bible passages I’ve read dozens, if not hundreds, of times before that I’ve never noticed. They pop right off the page like someone jumping up and down waving their arms. And two, peace and joy often wash over me when I read familiar truths I haven’t thought of in some time.
The Scriptures are not some old, irrelevant writings. And though the pages are filled with rich theological truths that we must diligently study, they are also so much more. They are a love letter written by the Creator of the universe to His children. And they are applicable to our situation today, right where we are. It’s truly amazing!
Just today I re-read the passage in Matthew 7:1-5 that refers to dealing with the plank in my own eye before seeking to help others with the speck in theirs. When I look into God’s Word, I must first learn what He is teaching me before I can share with others what He may want to teach them.
If I remain teachable—if you remain teachable—we will have so much to share with those the Lord brings into our lives.
And we must always remember that no matter how old we get, there is still so much to learn.
Be vulnerable. Be honest. Be teachable. And the Lord will surely bless others through you—through your writing and through your every endeavour.
What has God been teaching you lately?
[Leave your thoughts below!]
Steph Beth Nickel
(Picture by Sarah Grace Photography)
Stephanie is a freelance writer and editor. She writes under the pen name Steph Beth Nickel. She co-authored Paralympian Deborah L. Willows’ memoir, Living Beyond My Circumstances. Among other places, it is available from Castle Quay Books and Amazon. Steph has been blogging since 2010 and is a regular guest on Kimberley Payne’s site (fitness tips) and Christian Editing Services (writing tips). She will also be writing and recording regularly for the newly-formed Hope Stream Radio. Stephanie is an active member of The Word Guild and InScribe Christian Writers’ Fellowship.
Steph invites you to pop by for a visit on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephbethnickel or https://www.facebook.com/stephbnickel?ref=hl
You can also look her up on Twitter @StephBethNickel; her blog: http://stephseclecticinterests.wordpress.com; or her website (still a work in progress): http://stephbethnickel.com
Guest post by Steph Beth Nickel
Many of you may not think of 53 as “the other side of the hill,” and I’m not saying that I’m ready to throw a blanket over my legs, take up knitting, and sit in my rocking chair until the Lord calls me home. Far from it!
However, I’m not 20 anymore . . . or 30 or 40. And that’s okay.
And while I do believe we can make the most of the second half of life by eating well, getting adequate physical activity, and refusing to sit back and leave “the real work” to the next generation . . . there comes a time when we must honestly evaluate our priorities.
I would say that mine all have to do with relationship—with God, family and friends, and others who cross my path. But my perspective is changing; my focus is narrowing even further.
As a Christian, I’ve heard it said, “It’s all about Jesus.” I have never agreed more than I do right now.
Just why do I do what I do?
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:31, “Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (ESV)
Yes, I must earn an income.
No, there is nothing wrong with kicking back with my family and watching TV in the evening—depending, of course, on what we choose to watch.
And what about household chores, grocery shopping, and gardening? They all have their place. (Though I did write a blog for a while titled “Confessions of a Horrible Housekeeper,” and I still leave the gardening to my hubby.)
Lately, as I’ve been going about my day-to-day tasks, I’ve realized just how futile the vast majority of our pursuits really are—at least in the light of eternity. I can understand why Solomon said, “Meaningless! Meaningless . . . Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless” (Ecclesiastes 1:1 NIV).
If I stop there, I may be tempted to head for that rocking chair. And forget the knitting . . . for that might bless someone.
Remember Ecclesiastes 3:11-13.
He [God] has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. (NIV)
I admit if I focus on the apparent futility of the everyday, I will slip into a funk. In fact, I have been dealing with negativity for a while now.
But if I focus on the passages from 1 Corinthians 10 and Ecclesiastes 3, I am reminded that I must do what I do for God’s glory—even the everyday tasks.
How can we do everyday tasks for the Lord’s glory?
Thank God for another new day even before we get out of bed and think of five things to be thankful for before our feet hit the floor.
Commit each task, no matter how trivial, to the Lord.
Ask for strength to do what we do for His glory and the good of others.
If we’re tempted to let go of those responsibilities that obviously further God’s kingdom, we should prayerfully consider what other obligations and pursuits we can set aside. God’s wisdom is available to help us make the right decisions. (See James 1:5)
And let’s remember . . . it is not wrong to take care of ourselves—by spending quiet time with God each day, eating well, exercising regularly, or decompressing with some alone time or by grabbing a coffee with a friend. After all, we must replenish our resources in order to have something to give.
This is my current perspective. Still, I am learning and growing—and trust I will be until the Lord calls me home.
Condemnation vs. Conviction
I want to encourage you with a realization I came to years ago. If we feel condemned, it is not God’s doing. Now, conviction, which is of God, can feel the same at first, but with conviction, He provides a way out.
[Questions or comments for Stephanie? Leave them below!]
Steph Beth Nickel
(Picture by Sarah Grace Photography)
Stephanie is a freelance writer and editor. She writes under the pen name Steph Beth Nickel. She co-authored Paralympian Deborah L. Willows’ memoir, Living Beyond My Circumstances. Among other places, it is available from Castle Quay Books and Amazon. Steph has been blogging since 2010 and is a regular guest on Kimberley Payne’s site (fitness tips) and Christian Editing Services (writing tips). She will also be writing and recording regularly for the newly-formed Hope Stream Radio. Stephanie is an active member of The Word Guild and InScribe Christian Writers’ Fellowship
Steph invites you to pop by for a visit on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephbethnickel or https://www.facebook.com/stephbnickel?ref=hl
You can also look her up on Twitter @StephBethNickel; her blog: http://stephseclecticinterests.wordpress.com; or her website (still a work in progress): http://stephbethnickel.com
The following devotional is from a series I am writing for HopeStreamRadio. I also plan to publish an e-book featuring these pieces later this year.
Jesus’ teachings weren’t—and aren’t—always easy to understand. In John 6, He speaks of the bread that came down from heaven. As a result, many of His followers left Him. His teaching was just too hard for them to grasp.
When He was alone with His disciples, He asked them a pointed question.
John 6:66-67 reads as follows: “After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. So Jesus said to the Twelve, ‘Do you want to go away as well?'” (ESV)
Simon Peter, in keeping with his nature, was quick to respond. He said in John 6:68-69, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.”
Jesus’ disciples didn’t fully understand all He had come to accomplish—or how He would fulfill His mission, but there were times like this that one or more of them expressed great faith.
These verses became very important to me a few years back, when my dad died. I have been a Christian since I was a child—many years ago, but this event was difficult to handle. If you think of my belief system like a house, it was as if my dad’s death knocked the entire structure down and left me huddled on the foundation.
But that’s okay because I had arrived at the same conclusion as Peter: There was nowhere else to go.
When the disciple made this proclamation, I don’t think he understood what Jesus was saying about the bread and the cup any more than the others did, but I do think he knew enough to realize there was no other place to turn for truth, solace, and meaning.
In Luke 7:47-49, Jesus says, “Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.”
The storm that was my dad’s death and the emotional and spiritual turmoil that went with it battered my dwelling place, my faith, but no matter how the storm raged, I was secure on the Rock, the Foundation, the Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
Did this have anything to do with my efforts? No, and here’s why. While I had put my faith in Christ, I wouldn’t have done so if God hadn’t drawn me to Himself—which He did because of His grace, not because I somehow deserved it. There were times I dug deep (through prayer and Bible study, both alone and with others). However, there were others when I let these spiritual disciplines slip. But every time I asked for forgiveness, I found that He was right there waiting for me, arms open wide.
As it says in Luke 7:47, we are to come to Jesus, take note of His words, and do what He commands. But we often fail to do so. Still, at times, life happens, and there’s no-one to blame. We take a beating and are left with nothing except the foundation of our faith. But Jesus is a sure foundation, and we can rest assured that we can again build on the foundation that will never crumble.
Uncertainty marked my life for a while—and I still have many questions that won’t be answered this side of eternity—but my foundation was secure, unshakable. My foundation was—and is—Jesus Christ, the Holy One of God.
[Questions or comments for Stephanie? Leave them below!]
Steph Beth Nickel
(Picture by Sarah Grace Photography)
Stephanie is a freelance writer and editor. She writes under the pen name Steph Beth Nickel. She co-authored Paralympian Deborah L. Willows’ memoir, Living Beyond My Circumstances. Among other places, it is available from Castle Quay Books and Amazon. Steph has been blogging since 2010 and is a regular guest on Kimberley Payne’s site (fitness tips) and Christian Editing Services (writing tips). She will also be writing and recording regularly for the newly-formed Hope Stream Radio. Stephanie is an active member of The Word Guild and InScribe Christian Writers’ Fellowship
Steph invites you to pop by for a visit on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephbethnickel or https://www.facebook.com/stephbnickel?ref=hl
You can also look her up on Twitter @StephBethNickel; her blog: http://stephseclecticinterests.wordpress.com; or her website (still a work in progress): http://stephbethnickel.com
I’m excited to welcome a guest poster to the blog today. Sherri Wilson Johnson is an Inspirational Romance novelist, a speaker, and a former homeschooling mom who’d rather have laugh lines under her eyes than worry lines across her forehead. She lives in Georgia with her husband, her two children and her Chihuahua, Posey. Her favorite thing to do when she’s not with her family is to curl up with a good book or work on her current work-in-progress. She loves to dream of visiting romantic places and is passionate about the Lord, motherhood, homeschooling, and writing. Sherri is the author of To Dance Once More, Song of the Meadowlark, and To Laugh Once More. She is a columnist with Habits for a Happy Home and Choose NOW Ministries.
And now… the guest post:
by Sherri Wilson Johnson
As a little girl, I dreamed of being a wife and mother. I was born in 1966 and there wasn’t much else for a little girl to aspire to be. I loved my Legos and built houses all the time, complete with a room for all the babies I’d have one day. I played with Barbies and pretended to be Ken’s wife. Of course, when I got my Barbie airplane, I have to admit, pretending to be the flight attendant (or stewardess, as they were called then) was a guilty pleasure of mine. My dad didn’t let my mom work even after we were grown and it was pretty clear that he thought I’d start an occupation after graduating while waiting for my prince charming to come and sweep me off my feet. Although I wanted to be the next big nightly news anchorwoman, I let my mind settle on “just” being a wife and mom.
Along came my prince charming a few years later, and I couldn’t wait to be his wife. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to jump right in and start having babies, but I could definitely see what our future was going to look like. We owned a company and worked side-by-side every evening cleaning office buildings. We spent late nights at Dunkin’ Donuts, came home, and snuggled until the morning light. In less than a year, I became pregnant (surprise) and the lazy days of hanging out together and the carefree nights of working alongside one another until 2:00 a.m. came to a grinding halt.
Totally unprepared for motherhood, I kind of freaked out. I felt alone and wanted to go back to being a couple. But being a strong-willed, second-born child, I sucked it up, put on my big girl pants, and gave it my all. The only problem: I didn’t know how to divide my attention between my husband and my daughter and I didn’t know how to ask him for help without looking like a wimp of a mother. Life was not turning out to be as fun and footloose as I’d dreamed it’d be when I was a little girl.
In my latest novel, To Laugh Once More, a Victorian Romance set in the South, Lydia, the heroine, suffers from this same kind of disillusionment. She thought marriage would be one big happy whirlwind of romance, complete with travels around the world and a houseful of children, all of which her governess would tend to. But three years in, she realizes that she feels no different than she did when she was a young debutante on her father’s plantation waiting for a beau to sweep her off her feet. Married to the man of her dreams, she’s still childless and is often left at home for days at a time while he travels on business and “lives the life”. She pitches quite a few hissy fits trying to get her way and life doesn’t do her any favors.
What do I have in common with Lydia? Well, we both suffered from a heavy (not healthy) dose of selfishness in our early years. We also didn’t take into account the plans God had for our lives. Instead, we had an idea of how it was supposed to go and when it didn’t go that way, well, let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. While I’m not one to act outwardly in a dramatic fashion, pitching fits and screaming and letting everyone know how I feel about a situation that didn’t go my way, I’m still guilty of getting my point across. I just often do it with silent treatments or huffing and puffing for a day or two.
Throughout my twenty-six years of marriage, I’ve learned to ride the tide a little more. Take everything in stride. Stay calm when the raging waters wash over me. I’ve learned to hold my breath and to keep my eyes focused upward because every storm passes. Once the storms pass, it’s easier to see the blessings that have been placed in my life. I’m able to see the treasure it is to be “just” a wife and mother.
How has it turned out for me so far? Well, my daughter is now twenty-three. Her brother is twenty. My husband is still with me, and that makes me happy. We’re back to being the carefree couple we were years ago, although we don’t work alongside each other in our own company. Maybe one day. I’m not an anchorwoman, but I am a published author, which was truly my dream all along.
Do I have the picket fence? Sure. But it doesn’t look like what I thought it would forty years ago. There’s splinters. There’s a few nails poking out that might stick you if you’re not careful. It needs to be updated and sprayed with a fresh coat of paint every now and then. But the One who built the house and who built the fence that keeps us safely tucked in each other’s arms keeps us set on a firm foundation with a solid roof over our heads. I’m thankful that we let God build our marriage from the ground up. I’m thankful that He stood in the gap on the days I didn’t much feel like being a wife and mother. When you build your marriage on the Solid Rock of Jesus, you can endure and even flourish throughout all of life’s storms.
∞
To Laugh Once More is a Victorian Inspirational Romance set in Georgia in 1895. The War may be over, but the battles still rage.
A dissatisfied wife. A misunderstood husband. Three tragedies will alter their path forever. Will their choices tear them apart, or will they allow them To Laugh Once More?
Three years after her marriage to Hamilton, former debutante Lydia Barrington Scarbrough is dissatisfied with life. She has yet to have children, and she spends most of her days sitting in a circle of women chatting about homemaking. She thought life would be more than what it’s turned out to be. Hamilton travels on business and never takes her with him. What’s a lonely wife to do when she has no children to raise? She longs for adventure and romance, and really, she longs for the fulfillment of her purpose in life. A purpose beyond being a wife and raising children.
Lydia faces a series of hardships that stretch her faith beyond capacity. Leaving her childhood home in Florida for Georgia proves to be more difficult than she ever imagined, and her marriage may not survive the trials. Lydia’s own personal battles drive a wedge between them. What will it take to make Hamilton attempt to save their marriage and draw Lydia back to him?
As Lydia strives to etch out a place for herself in a new world full of unfamiliar prejudice and attempts to overcome her private battles, she must help Hamilton understand her deepest longings and learn the true meaning of joy. Will she surrender her will in order to find her purpose? Will her future hold a happier marriage, motherhood, and a calling greater than she could ever have imagined?
You can find out more about the book at Sherri’s website: sherriwilsonjohnson.com/sherris-books/to-laugh-once-more/. To Laugh Once More is available for Kindle at Amazon.com and worldwide. The print version will release shortly.
Insignificance. Failure.
Few words chill me like those two. I hate them even more than doing my taxes.
Why?
I’ll tell you, though I know this story won’t put me in the best light.
I’ve always enjoyed that there was something a little different about me. In school, it was simply that I was bright and everything came easily. After school, it was my job as a journalist. Everyone thought that was interesting.
Now I’m a boarding school mistress and aspiring author. The school doesn’t pay very well, but I love the kids and it allows me time to write. Besides, very few people work in boarding schools or write books—and I do both. I like that. I’m also still a volunteer journalist and spent the past weekend working on the media team at the Easterfest music festival. People paid attention to the media lanyard around my neck. It was cool.
But this week I’m having to face a fact: my part-time job and ‘unpaid career’ aren’t making any money. And since I’ve had no luck getting back into paid journalism, I need to go do something boring like flip burgers or answer phones. Anything that pays.
I don’t like the thought of having a boring job. But what I really hate is the possibility that if I never get my novels published, the boring job could be my whole career. I could be a completely normal, nothing-unusual-about-her, regular old person.
[Insert gagging here.]
It’s a sobering thought, but so is the fact that my identity is way more wrapped up in my work than I realized.
I only posted about God and identity a few months ago on my own blog. It was actually the first post I wrote that started attracting views. It kick-started my blogging journey. Yet here I am four months later, realizing that without an ‘interesting’ job my sense of identity is shattered.
I also know, deep down in myself, that my writing career probably isn’t going to move very far forward until I sort this thing out. I can feel God prodding, showing me where I need to change. And I know that if I get the ‘success’ I crave tomorrow, it could easily destroy me.
If I had overnight success, my identity would only become further intertwined with my career. I would become proud. I would also dread the day when my book sales dropped and I moved from the ‘successful’ category to ‘has-been’. That fear would motivate me to put writing ahead of relationships and even God. And on the day when my fear came true, it would sink me into the depths of despair.
That’s not a future I want.
I already know that God wants my identity to be in Him. Why else would He say,
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength”? (Mk 12:30 NIV, emphasis mine).
He wants all of me. And if I was as focused on God as what that verse says, I wouldn’t be so worried about my own sense of identity.
If that verse isn’t enough, here’s another:
“Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” (Matt 10:39 NIV)
Would I be happy to lose myself, if God asked? Could I walk away from my computer and writing career?
With my current mindset, that would be pretty difficult. Since I don’t like the thought of being dependent on a job for my sense of self-worth, I think it’s time to change.
Which is all well and good, but…how?
Well, Jesus tells us that ‘apart from Me you can do nothing’. (John 15:5 NIV) So Step One is asking God for His continued help. And while I’m at it, I’ll ask Him to keep pointing out these areas where I need to change.
Step Two will be keeping the above verses in my mind. I need to spot those wrong thoughts when they come and use the Sword of the Spirit (God’s Word) to stab, slice and dice them away. It might take a while, but we’ll get there.
It almost seems silly for me to let go of my drive to succeed. After all, ‘success’ is our holy grail. The people we most admire are the ones who have success in their families, businesses, ministries and general life.
But in the long run, I know this is going to be freeing. I’m still going to work hard. But if things don’t pan out, I will know my life is still significant, because it’s been spent in relationship with God. I won’t be weighed down by my fear of failure or my dread of insignificance. I’ll have the courage to just be God’s follower—nothing more, nothing less.
And that is both the most humble position and highest honor in the world.
*
Photography by Kali Brumpton
Jessica Everingham is a journalist, blogger, boarding school mistress and aspiring author. She is 22 and lives in sunny Queensland, Australia. She loves connecting with people via her blog, Consumed By Him, Facebook, and Twitter (@JessEveringham). Come say hi!
Today we have another guest post, from award-winning author/speaker Jennifer Maggio. Jennifer has a passion for single moms. I’ll let her tell you more. Read to the end to see how you can win a free ebook:
Fifteen years ago, I found myself curled in a ball in the middle of my cold, bathroom floor, crying hysterically. I was convinced that no one could possibly understand the depths of my pain. When would this misery end? I was broken. I had no money, few friends, and no hope. How was I going to raise these children alone for 18 years? How could I make it financially? Would my circumstances every change?
That is my story – the story of a lonely single mom, living on government assistance, running from God, and feeling I couldn’t push through. The next several years brought a winding road of highs and lows, victories and defeats. But I did push through. I made it through those early years of parenting alone. Although I hadn’t been in years, I became involved in my local church, rededicated my life to the Lord, and slowly began the journey of digging myself out of a financial and emotional hole. My heart found rest. I leaned on the Lord, when everyone else had failed me. And I never forgot what it was like to be that lonely, overwhelmed single mom.
My new book, Peace and the Single Mom: 50 Moments of Calm in the Chaos, exists to walk another single mother through the certain loneliness she has felt, but also to guide her to God’s faithfulness, to wholeness, to humor, and ultimately, to peace. It was written as my “thank you” for all God has done in my own life. It was written as my encouragement to that mom who feels no one understands.
Single moms don’t need just another sermon preached at them. They don’t need another book that makes them feel they are light years away from being a good Proverbs 31 woman! They want to hear about God’s grace, His faithfulness, His unconditional love. They want to learn to laugh again. My hope is that Peace and the Single Mom does just that!
Picture Peace and the Single Mom as your girl-time with me, as we sit in your living room, sipping coffee, with our feet on the furniture.
[Janet’s note: Jennifer has graciously offered a free e-copy of Peace and the Single Mom to one of you… leave a comment, and I’ll draw a name on December 14.]
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Jennifer Maggio is an award-winning author and speaker whose personal journey through homelessness, severe abuse, and single parenting leaves audiences riveted. She is founder of The Life of a Single Mom Ministries and Overwhelmed: The Single Moms Magazine. For more info, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
Today we have a guest post from award-winning author Dineen Miller. Read on to be encouraged and challenged. Dineen has graciously offered a copy of the new book she co-authored with Lynn Donovan, Not Alone, to one of our readers in Canada or the US. To enter, please leave us a comment. Draw closes midnight, Nov. 29.
I stood on the knoll of a grassy field, watching my youngest daughter, Leslie, then only five years old, as she kicked off her shoes at the starting line. No shoes? How would her little feet grip the grass and propel her forward? Several of the other children in her age group had done the same thing, so I resisted the urge to run over and make her put her shoes back on.
We’d moved to Switzerland in the spring and had spent the summer adjusting to our new surroundings before school started, thus immersing my girls into a culture and language they’d just barely begun to grasp. Today’s event was a big part of kicking off the new school year. I watched Leslie stand there, looking around at the other children so eager to start and win this race. The prize? A round ornately stitched patch declaring the bearer winner of the race for their age group.
Did she even stand a chance?
The starter shouted the Swiss version of “get set, ready, go!” and off went this group of five and six year olds, sprinting down a grassy field. Little legs pumped madly and arms swung back and forth. Seemed like minutes instead of seconds passed as the fastest runners pulled away, and to my amazement my daughter was one of them.
I think my mouth about fell open as my daughter took the lead and won!
Full of pride for my girl, I waited until she’d followed protocol to receive her award and came running toward me. One of her new friends trailed behind her and as my daughter hugged me, I could see her friend was struggling not to cry.
Leslie had noticed too and turned to face her. She held out her new prize to her friend, whose eyes grew almost as big as the patch Leslie held. The little girl looked at me as if to ask, is this okay? My same question—I’d watched Leslie work so hard for this prize, yet there she stood, ready to give it way.
So I asked Leslie, “Are you sure you want to part with that?” I think I was the one struggling with parting with it, not her.
“Yes, mommy. I want her to have it.”
Her friend took the patch and threw her arms around Leslie. The two skipped off together to play. My pride in my daughter grew even larger.
I think at times our children know how to be more generous than we do. I’ve watched my daughter grow into a generous teenager who was always quick to give away what she had and spend her allowance on her sister or her friends before buying herself anything. My biggest challenge as her mother—to let her. To support her in her generosity, even when she gave away a Visa gift card she’d received for her birthday to a homeless person. As I had asked at that race so many years ago, I asked again, “Are you sure?” She said the joy of giving the card away was better than anything she could have bought.
Some kids just get this, others need to be taught. Either way, we as parents have a wonderful opportunity to help our children grow into generous teenagers and adults who shock the world with their generosity. Just as Jesus came into this world and continues to shock us with His.
Along with Jesus, my daughter has become my teacher and inspiration to give more of my resources, my love and my time. I love watching her shock the world with her generosity.
In Not Alone, you’ll find encouragement and inspiration from Scripture and true-life stories from other spiritually mismatched moms. Plus, find practical tips for capturing teachable moments with eternity in mind, and discovery questions to help you grow as a parent.
This is a parenting book, but it’s much more. It’s a love letter to all mothers—a message that changes our homes, our kids and our lives. It’s about the Father’s love that impacts those around us and changes ordinary moms into women of extraordinary grace, beauty and wisdom.
You may sometimes feel you’re on your own when it comes to godly parenting, but Jesus promised to be with you always. You’re not alone!
Dineen Miller is passionate about God’s Word and truth. She’s been featured on the Moody Radio Network, Focus on the Family, Dr. James Dobson’s FamilyTalk and FamilyLife Today. Dineen lives in the Bay Area with her family and is the coauthor of the award winning book, Winning Him Without Words and author of the ACFW Carol Award winning book, The Soul Saver. Visit Dineen online at MismatchedandThriving.com.
Valerie Comer
Writing Stick-to-it-ive-ness! (Guest post by Valerie Comer)
Have you ever wanted something so much that you spent a decade learning how to do it with no guarantee you’d ever be successful. . . whatever that means?
Janet’s theme on this site is “tenacity.” It’s vital in so many areas of life. Sometimes we call it stubbornness, but tenacity and diligence sound so much more positive. Either way, it’s the ability to set a goal and dig your heels in until you’ve achieved it.
In 2002 I decided to learn to write fiction. Hours every day had suddenly opened up with nothing to fill them. I’d always toyed with the idea of writing a novel “someday,” and knew this was a God-given opportunity to take the next step. Actually the first step.
Only, I had no idea what that step was. How-to-write books from the library were of little help, but the relatively new Internet pointed to some sites where I could learn. And learn I did. I averaged one novel a year for nine years before I finally sold a novella (ironically unwritten at time of sale), and I’ve written two more since. Over half of these are unsalvageable drafts with huge problems.
The biggest hurdles for me were two-fold.
1. I had no concept of the over-all process. I couldn’t see the steps. You know the cliché “can’t see the forest for the trees?” Well, I couldn’t even see the trees for the twigs. I got bogged down in the minutiae of writing and struggled to find the horizon.
2. I thought writers were either seat-of-the-pants writers (pantsers) or plotters. It took me a long time to “get” that there was a large middle ground in which most writers live. Thus it took me about ten too many novels to find the best practices for me. Now I know better than to tell anyone “this is the way it must be done.”
This spring it seemed the time had come to pay forward and help other, newer writers develop their craft, so I opened a website, To Write a Story, dedicated to teaching fiction from beginning to end. It seems to me that there are six stages in writing: planning, plotting, writing, editing, publishing, and marketing. My goal is to provide an overview of each stage so that writers can keep the forest in mind while they’re focused on those twigs.
I’ve chosen a two-prong approach:
1. It’s a blog. I post a helpful article every Thursday on one of the six stages. Most of them are written by me, but I accept a small number of guest posts, too.
2. It’s a course. Writers can sign up in the sidebar for my FREE writing course via email. You’ll get a new lesson every week for the better part of a year, walking you through the process from beginning to end.
If you’ve ever wondered just what all is involved in writing fiction, I invite you to subscribe to the course (and/or the blog) and join the 70+ people (about one a day since I opened the course) who are already enrolled. We’re having a lot of fun and I think you will, too!
Want to learn To Write a Story? Then join in!
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Valerie Comer’s life on a small farm in western Canada provides the seed for stories of contemporary inspirational romance. Like many of her characters, Valerie and her family grow much of their own food and are active in the local foods movement as well as their creation-care-centric church. She only hopes her characters enjoy their happily ever afters as much as she does hers, shared with her husband, adult kids, and adorable granddaughters.
Valerie writes Farm Lit with the voice of experience laced with humor. Raspberries and Vinegar, first in her series A Farm Fresh Romance, releases August 1, 2013, from Choose NOW Publishing.
MASQUERADE: AM I A FRAUD?
Guest Post by Deb Elkink
My character Ebenezer MacAdam owns Incognito Costume Shop and individually recommends rentals based on a client’s personal character. He says,
I’d like to think the purpose of my costumes has been to reveal the real in this masked and disguised generation. But on a grander scale, I myself am being unmasked and my failure laid open to my own view. So many of my years I spent fearing to be discovered for the fraud I really am. Yet here it is the autumn of my life and I stand naked, as it were, before a Judge more kindly than myself. (The Third Grace, p. 74)
Eb’s words issue from a conflicted spot in my own soul. I’d like to think the purpose of my writing is to speak a message of truth to this generation and yet—like him—the very act of my service exposes me to the truth of my own shortcomings. Doesn’t my choice of words (like his choice of costumes) say more about my own heart attitude than that of the reader whose heart I’m judging?
It started early in my life—this suspicion that I wasn’t all that I wished I were or that I portrayed myself to be. When I memorized my spelling list and won the elementary bee, I was self-satisfied but suspected the triumph was a fluke. When I earned honours in graduate school, I delighted in the accomplishment but credited grade inflation. Innately knowing that proficiency can become the breeding ground of pride, I tend to demur: “Oh no, I’m not that talented. It was luck. I don’t deserve the praise.”
There’s actually a psychological label slapped on this condition when it’s pathological: “Imposter Syndrome.” I rush to say that I’ve not been diagnosed; most healthy people to some degree attribute success to luck, reject compliments, or think, “Anyone could have done this.” I suspect it’s a well-intentioned attempt at humility.
Jesus denounced as hypocrites those who ostentatiously fulfilled religious responsibility for public applause, describing the sanctimonious Pharisees with hearts full of greed and self-indulgence as whitewashed tombs and dirty cups (Matt. 6:2, 5, 16; 23:25-28). The word “hypocrite” comes from the Greek stage, where an actor would hold up a mask indicating one emotion while displaying a juxtaposing facial expression revealing his true feelings. “These people honour me with their lips,” Jesus said, “but their heart is far from me” (Matt. 15:8 NIV). Hypocrites receive their reward in this life; no reward awaits them in Heaven.
The deciding factor between true humility and the falseness of hypocrisy, then, seems to be the heart intention of the worshipper/writer; honouring the Lord with my lips/keyboard for temporal reward isn’t synonymous with bringing my heart close to Him. The very public nature of writing for reader feedback (comment on a blog, payment for an article, placement in a competition) forces me to investigate my motives.
The sixteenth-century Reformer John Calvin wrote in his Institutes (1.1.1-2),
Without knowledge of self, there is no knowledge of God . . . Without knowledge of God there is no knowledge of self.
The only way to know God is through His Word (Living via Written). Humility is seeing myself as I really am, in light of God’s gifting. When I look clearly and honestly at my own heart, I am driven back into the Bible, where I must face my motivation and ask myself truly:
The stardust of long-awaited, hard-won, now-realized publication threatens to blind me. The only way I see to avoid hypocrisy—that veneer of false humility—is to face the “shaming nakedness” (as Calvin put it) of my own insufficient human efforts. This readies me for the revelation of the righteousness that exists in God alone, the thrill of embracing His gifts to me. I can see myself in perspective not as I measure up to my idea of authorial success but only as I see God’s flawless provision for my imperfection. On this basis I take joy in unearned grace (of salvation, of course, but also of ongoing achievements) while simultaneously facing my fear of exposure without hiding behind a mask of self-effacement. God is the ground of my humility, the Giver of all gifts for the purpose of His glory.
Deb Elkink, recipient of the 2012 Grace Irwin Award (sponsored by The Word Guild) for her debut novel, The Third Grace, writes from her cottage on the banks of a creek in southern Alberta. Visit her sometime: www.debelkink.com.
Watch the book trailer for The Third Grace, and read a review of The Third Grace. Check out all the stops on Deb’s blog tour, and maybe win a Kindle Fire HD.