Tag Archives: Kathi Lipp

Understanding Different Personality Types (Guest Post)

Image of people and the earth.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Understanding Different Personality Types

by Steph Beth Nickel

Melancholy or sanguine? Introvert or extrovert? Director or connector? Analytic or expressive? Enneagram 2 or enneagram 7?

If you’ve ever taken a personality test, some or all of these terms may be familiar to you. (I love taking quizzes. I’m pretty sure I can chalk it up to my personality type.)

Introverts and Extroverts

Maybe the most familiar terms are introvert and extrovert—and the more recently coined ambivert.

While there is much literature and more than a few GIFs that explain what it means to be an introvert, it really clicked for me when I discovered how introverts and extroverts recharge.

Typically, spending time with people drains an introvert and energizes an extrovert.

An introvert isn’t necessarily shy and reserved. They may enjoy spending time with family and friends. They may love to be out and about. But there comes a time, they have to spend some time alone. Otherwise, they will feel completely depleted.

On the other hand, an extrovert may be exhausted, wanting nothing more than to curl up on the couch and spend the evening reading a good book or binge-watching Netflix. However, if they have to go to a function, they may very well be the last one to leave. Time with people whose company they enjoy can be even more energizing than an evening on the couch.

As an extrovert “on steroids”, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the introverts who call me friend. Trust me, I know how annoying I can be. <grin>

We must learn to appreciate those with different personality types. God has made us unique and we need one another.

I think it’s humorous that I am the only extrovert in my family. My husband, daughter, and two sons are all introverts. My firstborn may technically be an ambivert, but he definitely falls on the introvert side of centre. For the most part, he would be happy spending the majority of his time at home with his wife and their six guinea pigs.

Connectors, Inspectors, Directors, and Reflectors

Not only is it a good thing to know your own personality type. It is also helpful to know your spouse’s. In my case, I have been married to an amazing man for over 35 years, an amazing man who couldn’t be more different from me.

As I mentioned, he is an introvert.

Dave is also a reflector, while I’m a connector.

Reflectors “take time to listen to others, making them feel seen and heard; drop what [they’re] doing to help someone in need; and exude a sense of calm confidence that helps others relax when their around.” (Exhale … p. 119)

Connectors “make everyone feel welcome, wanted, included; exude an upbeat, optimistic mood; and enjoy taking center stage.” (Exhale … p. 116)

Of course, people rarely fit neatly into a particular box, but we have definite leanings.

I first learned about this test from Cheri Gregory and Amy Carroll, the hosts of the Grit ‘n’ Grace Podcast and the authors of Exhale: Lose Who You’re Not, Love Who You Are, Live Your One Life Well.

(Don’t let the title mislead you. This is not merely a self-help book written to make readers feel good about themselves. These ladies truly love the Lord and want each of their readers to discover who God made them to be.)

You can take the test on the Exhale website.

Expressives, Analytics, Drivers, and Amiables

I learned about these personality types from Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory, in their book You Don’t Have to Try So Hard: Ditch Expectations and Live Your Own Best Life.

Sometimes, you only have to read the list to find out where you fit.

While I try to be amiable, I definitely qualify as an expressive. Our top emotional needs are “attention, affection, and approval.” Our God-given assets include being having a good sense of humor, being good on stage, and having a sensitive heart. Our potential liabilities include being a compulsive talker, scaring people off, and being too happy for some people. (You Don’t Have to Try So Hard … pp. 43-44)

And thankfully, my hubby is an amiable. I’m not quite sure who else could put up with my compulsive talking and over-the-top happiness.

Amiables need “respect, self-worth, and harmony.” They have “low-key personalities; are calm, cool, and collected; and are happily reconciled to life.” They may be indecisive, shy, and compromising.


Take a personality test and encourage someone close to you to do the same.

As you learn more about yourself and those closest too you, you will be better able to appreciate the strengths and extend grace when it comes to the areas of potential weakness in yourself and others.


Typically, spending time with people drains an introvert and energizes an extrovert. (click to tweet)

Appreciate others’ strengths and extend grace when it comes to areas of potential weakness. (click to tweet)

Steph Beth Nickel
Steph Beth Nickel
Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

Steph Beth Nickel is a freelance editor and writer and an author. If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.

The Journey Continues (Guest Post)

The Journey Continues

by Steph Beth Nickel

"Decluttering is like a weight loss program for your home, heart, and head." #clutter #Christianliving @StephBethNickel

Matthew 6:19-21 says, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (ESV*)

During Lent I participated in Kathi Lipp’s clutter free challenge. It was easy to get rid of 10 items per day. In fact, as well as thousands of other items, I got rid of approximately 400 books and magazines—and if you came to my house, you’d never know it. It was amazing, but I still have a long way to go.

What are some of the things God has been teaching me along the way?

All glory belongs to Him. Although I knew this long before I began the challenge, I was reminded time and again that any success in this or any other area is evidence of His work in my life.

Naturally, I’m lazy—very lazy. But thankfully, God is teaching me to push past my tendency to procrastinate—especially in the areas of decluttering, organizing, and cleaning.

Habits that have taken over 50 years to develop don’t disappear overnight. Unless I continue to declutter and refuse to succumb to old patterns, I will slip back into my old ways. Every sinkful of dishes washed and every item dropped into the box to be taken to the thrift store is a small step to developing new habits.

Community is crucial for any success. There is a reason why God calls Jesus’s disciples “the body of Christ” and distributes different spiritual gifts as He sees fit. We are not meant to go it on our own. The clutter free Facebook group was a safe place to be 100 percent open and honest. We celebrated one another’s victories and encouraged one another when we were struggling. It soon became one of my favourite groups. I’m convinced many of these friendships will endure the test of time.

Self-realization is good. Knowing why we buy what we do and why we keep things we don’t use, don’t love, and wouldn’t replace should something happen to them is eye-opening. (These are the criteria Kathi Lipp uses when choosing whether to keep any given item.)

Like any other form of healthy living, living clutter free is a lifestyle choice. Some days I’ll win. Some days I’ll stumble. And some days it will be a challenge to do much of anything around the house. But that doesn’t mean I’ve failed. It just means, should God give me tomorrow, I’ll have another opportunity to move toward a clutter free life.

Although I have a long way to go before our home is truly clutter free, I’ve discovered some amazing truths already. If you embark on this adventure, you may find these apply to you as well.


Clutter free living is a lifestyle choice. (click to tweet)

Decluttering is like a weight loss program for your home, heart, and head. (click to tweet)

Steph Beth Nickel

Steph Beth Nickel
(Photo by Stephen G. Woo Photography)

Stephanie (Steph Beth) Nickel is an award-winning co-author, a freelance editor and writer, a labour doula, and a former personal trainer. She also loves to speak, teach, and take slice-of-life photos. She would love to connect with you on Facebook or Twitter, on her website or blog.





*English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Surprised by Transformation (Guest Post)

Surprised by Transformation

by Steph Beth Nickel

Photo of butterfly, with the words "Transformation can come in the most surprising ways"

Be on the lookout. Transformation can come in ways you never expected.

And that’s exactly what has been happening to me this Lenten season.

While I don’t usually participate in the tradition of giving up something for Lent, this year I became aware of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Bible Study and decided to jump onboard.

The challenge: get rid of 10 things per day for the 40 days of Lent.

Having wanted to declutter our home for years, I thought it was a great way to start.

I had no idea.

I knew I could get rid of most, if not all 400 items, by culling my books and magazines, which I did.

However, I have also kept going, aiming to get rid of 10 items per day not only until Easter but also beyond that, until our home is the way we want it, free of clutter.

You have to understand … I used to have a blog called “Confessions of a Horrible Housekeeper.” That wasn’t one of those cutesy titles created by someone who was actually just shy of receiving The Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. No! Horrible was an accurate descriptor.

But that’s changing.

Not because it will make me a better person.

Not because others will think more highly of me.

Not to my credit.

It’s all about the Lord.

What does decluttering have to do with our spiritual life?

In the study, Kathi Lipp addresses the “whys” of clutter. Why do we surround ourselves with things we don’t need and/or love? Why do we hold onto things even when we’ve come to recognize them as clutter?

This is not a one-size-fits-all study. But when you discover yourself in the pages of Clutter Free, it’s powerful.

What are some of the advantages I’ve discovered so far?

I feel lighter emotionally, having gotten rid of so many items.

Because I’ve cleaned out my kitchen cupboards, I’ve found “forever homes” for items that have sat out for years. I’m also motivated to wash up the dishes as we dirty them, leaving our newly discovered counter free of clutter.

I’ve set a good example for my hubby and our daughter. No nagging necessary. They’ve both begun to address their own clutter and we’re enjoying the transformation together.

How do I know this was the right time to take this challenge?

For the sake of peace in our household, I decided years ago not to nag my family members about the condition of the house. Therefore, for the most part, I ignored the ever-increasing piles of stuff that surrounded us.

When I made an effort to tidy up, I became overwhelmed with the immensity of the task and would give up.

I was under the mistaken impression that something new and shiny would either make me happy or motivate me to do what I felt I should (thus, the accumulation of cookbooks and fitness equipment).

But no more.

I’ve found contentment in addressing the clutter in even a small corner of our home.

The Clutter Free Facebook group is a safe place to be open and honest. I’ve been encouraged and had the opportunity to encourage others.

I’ve let go of my defensive attitude. In the past I felt others were judging me because of the condition of our home—and I was determined to defend my choices even if they never knew about it.

Never before have I been so excited to get rid of things.

The most important changes are taking place within me, not the walls of our home.

 When has transformation surprised you? (Scroll down to share your comment.)


Transformation can come in surprising ways. (click to tweet)

As I declutter, the most important changes are taking place within me, not my home. (click to tweet)

Steph Beth Nickel

Steph Beth Nickel
(Photo by Stephen G. Woo Photography)

Stephanie (Steph Beth) Nickel is an award-winning co-author, a freelance editor and writer, a labour doula, and a former personal trainer. She also loves to speak, teach, and take slice-of-life photos. She would love to connect with you on Facebook or Twitter, on her website or blog.