Tag Archives: relationships

Seeing… and Responding

Then [Jesus] turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.”
Luke 7:45, NIV*

Simon the Pharisee certainly does see the woman, and he’s offended that someone “of that sort” would invade his righteous household. But he doesn’t see her at all: drawn to Jesus, hoping, trusting, desperately needing a miracle.

I remember Mark Buchanan reading this story a few years ago at Write! Canada. “Do you see this woman?” He challenged us with this: do we see an individual’s heart, or just skim over the surface?

Do we see?

Are we free to make a difference, or do we hold back in fear? What if we’re rebuffed? What would the onlookers say?

The Gospel of Luke also tells how Jesus interrupts a mission to heal a dying child. Someone in the crowd has sneaked a healing by touching His robe. As the desperate father is nearing wits’ end, Jesus looks around and asks “Who touched Me?”

He knows full well which of the many bumps and jostles made the difference, and He knows the woman’s story: the 12 years’ incurable bleeding, the physicians’ helplessness, the woman’s despair. Under the Jewish law, she would have been considered unclean for all this time, outcast, feeling defeated and unworthy.

Jesus could let her slip away, healed and filled with wondrous hope. But He stops the whole progression and singles her out. Not to chastise her as she might fear, but to acknowledge her worth. He’s not about to let her go whole in body but wounded in soul.

Who will we meet today who needs some kindness?

Lord, grant us to really see the people you bring our way.

∞

We’ve had this song before, but I don’t think there’s a better one for this topic than Brandon Heath’s “Give me Your Eyes”.

Righteousness

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My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
James 1:19-22, NIV*

This is good advice on how to coexist, but I think James has more in mind than treating one another well.

Listening, speaking, becoming angry: what struck me about these today is they’re all responses to people and situations. According to verse 20, our goal is to “bring about the righteous life that God desires,” and that’s not something we can impose on those around us or on the world as a whole.

Instead, James asks us to look inward, to work diligently on cleaning up our own lives. Take out the trash, whether it needs an industrial-sized garbage bag or a dustpan, and fill up with what’s good.

We can’t even do this on our own, but need to cooperate with and depend on the Holy Spirit. Why do we think we can force-clean someone else? But if we’re not careful, we’ll try.

It reminds me of Jesus’ words about taking the speck out of someone else’s eye when there’s a plank blocking our own sight.

Father, You designed us to live in community and to grow up spiritually together. Sometimes You let us see areas where another needs to grow. Help us to pray instead of judging, and to depend on Your Spirit’s clear leading about whether or not to speak. Please help us see the areas where You want to work in our own lives, and help us cooperate with You in the cleanup. We can’t thank You enough that You want to rescue us from the messes we’ve been in.

Let Steve Green‘s song, “Search Me, Oh God,” be our prayer today.

Speak to One Another

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Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. … Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 5:15, 19-20, NIV*

I can’t stand sales team pep rallies. You know, the impassioned speaker who gets listeners “all fired up,” leads in a group cheer, and works them into such a frenzy of eagerness that they practically trip over each other on their way out the door to convince the world to buy what they’re offering.

We do need encouragement and motivation, especially in those occupations which encounter a lot of negativity or opposition, but I don’t know if hype is really the best way to provide it.

We also need encouragement and motivation in living the Christian life, whether we’re experiencing outright opposition or just the general wearing-down of daily stress. Again, spare me the theatrics.

St. Paul told us to be alert and intentional about how we live. He knew how easily we can miss opportunities or be distracted from the underlying battle, or even be distracted from God.

With all our busyness, it seems like we rush into and out of church or Bible study groups and never have time to encourage one another. Our pastors and leaders can only pack so much into a message or worship service.

Technology changes things. You’ll often find me listening to a worship CD or to K-LOVE to let the songs keep me focused, and I’m trying to share encouragement through this blog. But the first and best way involves actual human contact.

When we take time to hear one another, we can share a word, a prayer, a song. Nobody wants a pat, trite answer, but a Spirit-inspired bit of encouragement from one Christian to another can really help.

Father, thank You for Scripture, and for the way You speak through fellow believers. Please help us encourage one another with words from You. And help us keep silent when all we have is words from ourselves.

I’m thankful for so many strong Christian music artists who share encouragement. Here’s a song to keep us on track today, by Steven Curtis Chapman: “Not Home Yet“.

Holy Awe

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When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, ‘Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die.’
Exodus 20:18-19 NIV*

In Exodus 19, God had declared Mount Sinai off-limits to the people. Only Moses and Aaron were permitted to meet with God on the mountain to receive the ten commandments. God said, “Only when the ram’s horn sounds a long blast may they go up the mountain.” (Exodus 19:13b)

Maybe the trumpet the people heard here was the all-clear, and they could safely approach the mountain and their God. Maybe not.

Thunder, lightning, black smoke covering the mountain… no wonder they were terrified. And they hadn’t heard much about God’s mercy or grace. But didn’t anyone feel a longing, a drawing toward this holy God who created and rescued them? A moth-to-flame compulsion?

It’s sad that they stayed at a distance and begged Moses to stand between them and God. How would things have turned out if they’d said like Job, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.” (Job 13:15) If they’d come, shaking with holy fear, unable to look away from the glory of God?

Yet we do the same thing. We ask our church leaders to teach us, instead of getting to know God ourselves. We ask a praying friend for a word from God rather than listening for Him in our own spirits. What are we afraid He’ll do to us… or ask of us?

Or we ignore His majesty and buddy up to Him, enjoying His presence without letting it change us.

Father, teach us a proper respect for Your power and glory. Thank You that through Jesus we can come boldly and confidently before Your throne. Help us come ourselves instead of looking for intermediaries. And give us a holy awe of You. Let us never forget that although You’ve called us Your children, You are neither tame nor safe. We praise You that You are good.

Our song this week is by Michael Card, “Know You in the Now“.

Unity

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If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
Philippians 2:1-2 NIV*

The way Paul starts here with “if you have any” implies he expects us to have a great deal of it:

encouragement from being united with Christ
comfort from His love
fellowship with the Holy Spirit

These ought to be the things that keep us going each day. Relationship with God makes all the difference. We’re to be people “living the rescue.” We’re not the same any more.

Verse 2 is a natural progression from verse 1. With our eyes and hearts filled with Jesus, that has to shape our relationships with other Christians. As we remember Who is our focus, He’s going to grow us together in His love.

But we get used to Jesus’ presence and instead of relying on Him more and more, we tend to take Him for granted. And we start to look at one another with colder eyes, noticing flaws and irritants.

Father, please forgive me, and open my eyes and heart to joyful awareness of Your presence. Help me linger with You, walk with You in the days, and thrive in You. As You change my heart and the hearts of my brothers and sisters in faith, grant us unity to serve You in this world.

Our song this week is “Neverending,” from the David Crowder*Band’s Remedy CD.

Praise the LORD

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Praise the LORD. How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise him! … Extol the LORD, O Jerusalem, praise your God, O Zion.
Psalm 147:1, 12 NIV*

Verses 2 – 6 say, “The LORD builds… gathers… heals… binds up… determines… names… sustains… casts down.”

Our God is worthy of praise. Something within us needs to praise Him—was made to praise Him.

We need to praise Him privately, adoring Him and growing our trust and confidence in Him.

But we also need to praise Him publicly. We need to tell others what He has done, because

He deserves it,
it strengthens other believers’ faith,
it shows His reality to those who don’t believe, and
it strengthens our own faith as we re-tell what He has done.

Sometimes church feels to me like a spectator sport. I go, reminding myself “let us not give up meeting together…” (Hebrews 10:25, NIV) but I wonder: are we meeting together? Exchanging stories to encourage our faith? Sharing and bearing one another’s burdens? Or are we putting on our nice faces for a visit to our faith club, then going back into our world powerless and unchanged?

LORD, I need to praise You more, to build my trust and confidence in You by thinking and talking about what You do. Help me see Your hand at work around me, and help me share it with others. I’m not the only silent one. Please wake Your body and loosen our tongues to declare Your glory.

Lots of artists have sung “God of Wonders,” written by Steve Hindalong and Marc Byrd, but my favourite rendition has to be by Third Day:

Commanded to Love

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We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
1 John 4:19-21, NIV*

Seen… not seen…. But I have seen God, at least His character: in the ways he cares for me, in His Word, in creation around me. I love Him because He’s already proven His love for me.

And I’ve also seen my brothers’ and sisters’ characters in what they do. Some generate an automatic response of love. Others, my instinctive response is avoidance… perhaps even dislike.

John calls us to an active love: “let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18, NIV) It’s not “feel love for,” it’s “show love to,” perhaps even “serve.”

I’ve told my sons many times over the years, “you don’t have to like one another, but it’s your job to love one another.” Maybe that’s the point of this command to love.

John goes on to say “This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world.” (1 John 5:3,4a, NIV) And he says we overcome the world by believing in Jesus, the Son of God. (1 John 5:5).

With loving my brothers and sisters in mind, I wonder about this overcoming the world. Maybe in part it means overcoming or breaking free of the world’s default mindset. Taking on the perspective of Jesus, learning to see like He does. Learning to love the unlovable because He sees something in them—in us—that is lovable: we are designed and created by the God of the universe, and He deems us worthy of love.

In the strength and grace of Jesus, I can find what I need to show love to the difficult ones who come my way. They need it most.

Father, please forgive my hard-heartedness—there is still so much world in me to overcome. Please help me see people as You see them. And give me not only love and compassion, but wisdom too, because with the demanding ones, sometimes what they want isn’t what You would give. Help me to depend on You and not trust my own instincts.

This week’s song is Casting Crowns‘ If We Are the Body:

Nearer to God

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Be still and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10a, NIV*

I’ve been feeling a bit frazzled this week, anxious about a few things even though I’m sure God will work them out. I’ve been praying about them, but the waiting to see God work them out has stressed me.

Monday’s post on the Captured by God blog, “Seek God First,” reminded me how we can slip into desiring what God will do more than desiring Him for who He is. Praying about it this morning, my thoughts kept circling. How can I come back to that intimacy with God as God, and leave my concerns in His hands?

The harder I try, the harder it gets. But as I was telling Him how helpless I am to do this, a verse from the other day came to mind: “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.” (1 John 5:14-15, NIV)

That stopped me. Lots of times I’m not sure if what I want to ask is His will, but this is a no-brainer. He wants me to come to Him like a child, in trust and confidence, just to be with Him. That’s what the Gospel is about: restoring relationship with God.

So I’ve asked, and I can be confident it’s His will. And I can trust that the Holy Spirit is interceding where my words aren’t enough.

My spirit is still, hope has returned, and I feel better already just from the stillness and the promise that God will draw me back to Himself.

Yesterday I was praying to see glimpses of God taking care of me, so I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed. Today I just want to see glimpses of Him—just to know He’s near.

Father, I love You. Thank You for Your grace, Your love and Your mercy to your scatter-brained and easily-distracted child. Draw me close to You.

This week’s song (and my prayer) is Draw Me Close, by the group Kutless:

What if I’m the Offender?

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Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you’ll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.
1 Peter 4:1a-2, MSG*

Last week I wrote about our call to be a blessing to others, and followed it up with a comment about an experience I’d had with someone who was not a blessing to me. The LORD used that experience to show me how important it is to be a blessing.

Silly me, thought I got the message. Until that very evening, when I still hadn’t had time to do some writing I’d wanted to finish the day before… and not one but two people I care about wanted to spend time with me.

I remembered Peter’s words about trusting everything to God to work it out in His timing (1 Peter 2:23). But I didn’t really let it go, and as my frustration grew, I definitely wasn’t a blessing to anybody.

God proved His grace to me and got me back on track in the way these people (who are two of the sweetest folks I know) each showed extra care to me as my frustration grew. For once I readjusted quickly and didn’t spoil the whole evening, but I did miss out on some quality time. God is growing me, but it sure is a slow process.

Next morning I went back to the blessing verses again, to make myself feel worse or to find help I don’t know, but it did both. 1 Peter 3:15a says, “Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master.” MSG*

I read on into chapter 4 and found the verses above. “…free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.” This is exactly the opposite of what I experienced: the frustration of not getting to my agenda. God wanted me to work on relationships, but I wanted to work on writing.

Father, Help me commit this day to You, to follow Jesus’ example and trust Your leading. Help me keep my heart at attention, in adoration before Jesus Christ, my Master, and to live free to pursue what You want instead of being tyrannized by what I want. Thank You for your grace and forgiveness.

Sometimes we all need Bebo Norman’s “Disappear” to be our prayer.

Janet Sketchley

Writing Christian Mysteries & Suspense

Tag Archives: relationships

Seeing… and Responding

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Righteousness

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Speak to One Another

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Holy Awe

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Unity

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Praise the LORD

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Commanded to Love

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Nearer to God

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What if I’m the Offender?

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