Tag Archives: relationships

Rebuild the House

This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honoured,” says the LORD. “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the LORD Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house. Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops.”
Haggai 1:7-10, NIV*

God is speaking through Haggai to the Jews who have returned from exile. They’d started to rebuild the temple, but how could what they put together out of rubble compare with the remembered glory of Solomon’s temple? Building homes didn’t seem as impossible, and it was a legitimate need too.

Christians today don’t have a temple to rebuild, but we’re each temples of the Holy Spirit. And we’re not to neglect meeting together as congregations of faith.

We’re sure busy with our own “houses”: work, household duties, busy schedules… nobody has much time for church events. It’s hard enough to fit in time for Sunday worship.

The last thing we need is another church group or committee meeting. And people can burn out or weaken their families by being too busy in the church.

But this idea of building… rebuilding….

If we are the body—the church—then maybe the rebuilding isn’t about formal meetings or events. Maybe it’s about relationships. Some of that can happen in structured settings, but it can also happen one-on-one as we take the initiative.

This isn’t the pastor’s job. It’s up to each of us. And it’s what will cause observers to know we belong to Jesus.

Father, some things from my own “house” will need to move aside to make time for Yours. But doing things Your way is always better than pushing for mine. Please help me to seize the opportunities You give to connect with my spiritual brothers and sisters—so You may take pleasure in us and be honoured.

∞

An appropriate song-prayer is “Bind Us Together”.

Out Through the Rubble

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Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28, NIV*

I got away for a much-needed spiritual retreat last weekend. Our speaker challenged us to ask God to take down the walls we’ve built, and to let His living water flow out through us instead of being dammed up.

As part of this process, she asked us meditate on Scripture. Not sure what verse to choose, I thought, “Come to Me”. Not a verse, but a fragment. Okay.

Come to Me.

It said some things that meshed with our weekend:

step out through the rubble of your wall;
you need to be with the people you’ve walled out; and
Jesus is waiting there to welcome you (not that He’s not with you in your self-made prison too).

It wasn’t until later I recognized the phrase as coming from Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28. But don’t they fit beautifully?

If we’re struggling to hold up a wall, we’re definitely weary and burdened. It’s hard work. And it never ends.

Trusting Jesus to be in charge gives us rest. Taking down the walls lets us be ourselves: the gifts God has for those around us.

Father, I praise You for Your grace and mercy to bring us back into relationship with You, and for Your healing and restoration in our lives. Thank You for setting us free, for equipping us to live with one another and with You. The world may look out of control, but You are sovereign. Teach us to live trusting in You, listening for and confident in Your leading.

∞

I had trouble finding a song for this, but Francesca Battistelli’s “Free to Be Me” captures the feeling of how I want to live on the other side of the rubble.

Mending the Chasm

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Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV*

You know what it’s like when you start getting dissatisfied with any group of people: you start noticing everything they do wrong. And of course what they do wrong often means what they don’t do your way.

That’s where I’ve been for a while now in one of the groups where God has placed me. It’s become “me vs. them” with a deep chasm in the middle. I’ve asked Him to move me, and He’s said no.

Good thing, too. If I’d moved on, I’d have carried the same seeds of disconnection with me and started the process over again.

The other Sunday in morning worship I was asking Him to mend the chasm, while at the same time thinking it was too deep to fill, that I was too damaged to restore. Knowing I’d done the damage myself.

These verses from Hebrews were part of our morning reading, and the “live in peace” and “bitter root” parts echoed the need in my prayer. But I’d been praying a long time for this and saw no sign of change.

As the congregation sang Chris Tomlin’s “How Great is Our God,” the word “our” told me “me vs. them” had to become “us”.

I’ve long felt that I didn’t fit into this particular group. Our differences were perhaps part of the trouble, although my imagination had enlarged them.

This Sunday, in the middle of worship, God did something neat. He reminded me about the verses in 1 Corinthians 12 about the body: the eye and the ear, complaining about their differences. And I understood:

I do belong and am intended to be my own specific part.

I’ve been guilty of saying the same thing as the ear: you don’t do it my way, so I don’t want to belong.

The congregation was still singing away, and I was singing too, but inside I was processing this revelation. “How Great is Our God.” The title repeats throughout the song, and now something clicked in my spirit.

God is great. Great enough to mend the chasm. I began to believe. To confess, and to cautiously hope.

He wasn’t done yet. Our next song declared that God has forgiven our sin. It’s past tense, a done deal. Even for this one I was still praying about.

My spirit believed it.

The chasm is mended. The chasm is being mended. The chasm will be mended.

I belong, although I’m different from the others. I’m responsible to do my part, released and intentional, not watching for others’ reactions.

What is my part? It might be fun finding out.

Father, thank You! I’m humbled and grateful to be restored. To be free to serve You as a functioning part of this and other groups where You’ve placed me. Open my eyes and my heart to discover and to fulfill the role You’ve designed me to fit. Show me my part.

∞

What else can I sing but “How Great is Our God” from Chris Tomlin?

Review: Majesty in Motion, by Stewart Brown

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Majesty in Motion: Creating an Encouragement Culture in all Your Relationships, by Stewart Brown, D. Min. (Word Alive Press, 2009)

I suppose while Jesus lived in Palestine in human form, those around Him truly saw the majesty of God in motion. Until He comes again, Christians have the responsibility of modeling God to those around us. Jesus promised the Holy Spirit to live in us and empower us, but too many times we fail.

In Majesty in Motion, Stewart Brown has provided a helpful, practical resource to overcome that failure. The encouragement culture he calls us to isn’t one of superficial compliments, but a lifestyle of building others up toward their God-given potential. It’s rooted and strengthened in prayer.

Seeing others as God sees them, affirming their value and investing time in their lives, is to treat them as Jesus would—to display God’s majesty in motion.

Stewart writes,

To be encouraged is to experience the transformative power of God, which gives you the courage to be and act according to God’s eternal purpose for your life.” (p. xiv)

As such, we need both to encourage ourselves in the Lord and to encourage others in Him.

This type of encouragement is intentional. It comes from prayerful intimacy with God and an awareness of the needs of others. And as the title makes clear, it’s about relationships, not religion or human effort.

The book asserts that encouragement has three parts: strengthening the heart, coming alongside to help, and inspiring to move forward:

Real, authentic encouragement—the attitude and heart that reflects the greatness of God through the warm, caring filter of God’s grace—is meant to be constantly active in the lives of every follower of Jesus.” (p. 19)

If we accept encouragement as our mission, we need to be equipped to deliver it. Part two of Majesty in Motion highlights three vital elements that God’s encouragers must develop: joy, patience, and an imitation of Jesus’ example.

As well as looking at the life of encouragement and the foundation required in each Christian’s life, the book also addresses the intentionality and the practice of encouragement. We have the why and the how, with practical details and clear examples. Each chapter comes with questions and suggestions for individuals and groups, and there are appendices of extra material for encouragement partners and church greeters.

There is a huge amount of truth packed into this 200-page book, and it’s easy to digest and understand. Application will take work and personal discipline, but the benefits are worth the cost.

I was personally challenged by the repeated call for a solid, personal confidence in God. It makes perfect sense: if you’re not securely trusting God in your own spirit, how can you help others? We must first learn to encourage ourselves in God, like an airline passenger donning her own oxygen mask before helping the child beside her.

David’s friend Jonathan helped him find strength in God when he was in danger from King Saul. Later, by himself David found strength in God when his men were ready to turn on him. Both are needed.

Majesty in Motion sets high goals that are achievable with diligence, and challenges readers to make that effort. It’s on my list of books that I wish every Christian could read.

Stewart Brown, D. Min, is a Canadian pastor, speaker and author currently serving in Alberta. Majesty in Motion follows the theme of his popular speaking engagements. Click here to read more about Majesty in Motion. You can check out Stewart’s recent interview on 100 Huntley Street (Stewart Brown interview, 1/2 and Stewart Brown interview 2/2) or visit his website, One Heart Ministries, to learn more about his ministry.

Majesty in Motion won a 2010 Canadian Christian Writing Award (for work published in 2009) in the Book: Relationship category, and was a finalist in the Book: Christian Living category.

[Review copy from my personal library.]

Love One Another

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A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
John 13:34-34, NIV*

Last week at Whatever He Says, Belinda posted on the importance of relationships, including the quote, “Relationship—with God and with people—nothing else matters”. It’s a powerful post, and worth reading (scroll up from where the link takes you). The novel I finished on the weekend, Just Between You and Me, made me think about it too. And the book I’m currently reading, Majesty in Motion, focuses on…you guessed it: relationships.

I didn’t plan any of this.

Did I mention our Bible study group at church is using the Experiencing God Workbook? We’re at the “relationships” section now.

God can be subtle with some people, but He knows I take a bit of prodding.

Loving one another doesn’t have a lot to do with warm, fuzzy feelings. Singer/songwriter Don Francisco called it an act of the will.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails [stops/ends]. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, NIV*

It’s intentional, deliberate, a choice we make. A choice we can only follow through on by relying on God’s love in us.

Father, I’m so thankful that You meet us where we are, but You love us too much to leave us there. You promised to grow us to be more like Your Son. Jesus saw people through Your eyes—with Your heart. Help me learn to do that too, and to be useful to You in encouraging and loving them.

∞

Our song this week is Matt Maher’s “Hold Us Together”.

Review: More Ready Than You Realize, by Brian D. McLaren

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More Ready Than You Realize, by Brian D. McLaren (Zondervan, 2002, 2006)

Brian McLaren’s aim with More Ready Than You Realize is to remind us that “evangelism” isn’t a dirty word, despite the negative connotations it’s acquired over the years. He also wants to demystify it and show us that, as the title suggests, we’re more ready to get involved than we realize.

He explains, “Good evangelism is the process of being friendly without discrimination and influencing all of one’s friends toward better living, through good deeds and good conversations. For a Christian… [it] means engaging in these conversations in the spirit and example of Christ. … Evangelism in the style of Jesus; evangelism that flows like a dance.” (p. 17)

The book tells the story of his spiritual friendship with April, a young woman considering faith. On one level, it’s an easy read. The conversations pull readers in, and we keep turning pages to see what happens. It’s also a book that requires thought as we apply what he says to our own lives.

A key premise is that Christians need to communicate our faith in a way that those around us will understand. Language, worldviews, even styles of communication have changed significantly in recent years as we’ve moved into the postmodern era.

The word “postmodern” itself raises a barrier to me, yet it’s assumed to be part of the reader’s understanding. Worse is “modern,” which I always thought meant “contemporary or up-to-date”. “Trendy,” even. But these are buzz-words of the new culture and so they’re used.

For me, this is a strong reminder of how important it is that I don’t bombard non-Christians or spiritual folk with Christian jargon. Dr. McLaren illustrates how these holy buzz-words will either be meaningless or mean something far different than intended.

More Ready Than You Realize is a helpful book and despite my struggle with the terminology its message resonated with me (oops, is that another buzz-word?).

The Bible tells us we’re to be ambassadors for Christ, that we’re to be involved in God’s work of reconciliation.

Dr. McLaren encourages us to “engage in spiritual friendship… see evangelism as relational dance rather than conceptual conquest, process rather than event, mutual learning rather than sales pitch…” and I find that far more attractive than some of the previous approaches. (In fairness to some of those modes, the book does point out the different cultures in which they began, so we see how they may have been designed to best meet the needs of the times.)

Integral to this message is the belief that the individuals we befriend (or who befriend us) are of great value, whatever their ultimate decision about God and however long it takes them to make one.

Dr. McLaren challenges us to value the relationships more than the results, and he reminds us that the goal isn’t conversion. The goal is people (ourselves included) loving and serving God and growing in relationship with Him and with each other. The results are up to Him. Our job is simply to serve.

I’d recommend this book to Christians and to those who want to understand them, with the warning that if philosophical language is not your thing, the book may challenge you. The message is clear, and Brian McLaren is an appealing narrator. He speaks to readers as he did to April: openly, non-threatening, and genuinely interested. I look forward to reading some of his other books.

More Ready Than You Realize includes a seven-part Bible study on what it means to be a disciple and to develop others. You can find reviews, a sample chapter and interviews here. To learn more about Brian D. McLaren, his other books and his ministry, check out his website.

Book source: my personal library

Christian Unity

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Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Ephesians 4:15-16*

The Apostle Paul has just urged us to “live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Eph. 4:1b-3, NIV*)

I don’t have to look farther than myself to see how hard this is. And my local congregation, nice people and sincere in their faith, struggle with it too. After all, as one member who’s now with the Lord was fond of saying, “We’re so human.”

Maybe I’m thinking about this because our annual meeting is coming up and it always seems to bring out the worst in us. (There must be a better way!)

Whatever the reason, the “Body” references in the New Testament have been on my mind lately. Christians are to function as one body: different roles and strengths, but a common goal of living for God. Jesus is the Head, and He only says and does what He hears from the Father. (John 14:10)

I’ve been thinking about how attitudes, misunderstandings, personality traits and critical or defensive spirits hamper the body’s ability, and it reminds me of NJ Lindquist’s article, called “Is the Body of Christ Handicapped?”

Father, You are able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, because Your power is working in us. I believe that. Help us trust and cooperate with You as You build Your people into a pleasing body, fully functional in You. We can’t do this on our own, but You are more than able.

This week’s song is another one from Casting Crowns: “If We Are the Body”

Influencers

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Violet’s post on Tuesday at Other Food: daily devo’s ended with an idea I’m still thinking about:

Spend some time today, thinking about and thanking God for the people who helped birth you into God’s forever family. (You can read the whole devotional, “The begets,” here.)

I was blessed with a grandmother who prayed for us daily, and I’m also thanking God today for formative touches through two Sunday School teachers and a musician who doesn’t know I exist. When I get thinking about it further, the list gets too long to enumerate.

Who are some of the people who’ve influenced you for the Kingdom? People God shone through to draw you to Himself, or to help you grow?

Father, thank You for each person who allowed Your Spirit to shine into my life through their obedience, whether they knew it or not. Bless them today, with heaped-up, running-over blessings in their spirits.

Love Each Other Deeply

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Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8, NIV*

The Apostle Peter places a lot of emphasis in this letter on how Christians should conduct ourselves in relationships and in hardships. He’s already told us to “love one another deeply, from the heart [or from a pure heart]” (1 Peter 1:22b, NIV)

Now he reminds us again to love deeply, and says it covers a multitude of sins. He’s been urging us to live well in relationship, and I think this is the “how”.

Most translations that I checked speak of love covering sins. (I love Bible Gateway). The Message expresses it as “love makes up for practically anything.” The Amplified Bible says love “forgives and disregards the offenses of others.”

Peter’s not saying love will turn a blind eye, excuse or enable wicked or destructive behaviour. It seems to me the “sins” love covers are twofold:

People are irritating (rumour has it, this includes me!). If I choose to ignore the thing(s) that grate me in another person, choose to focus on that person’s value and to love him or her, that helps me obey Peter’s teaching and live like Jesus.

And by choosing to love rather than to be critical, I’m dealing with or negating sin in my own life. Jesus had lots to say about being critical and judgmental.

Father, You know true, Christ-like love doesn’t come naturally… or easily. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit, who longs to produce it in me. Please help me learn to rest more in Him and not hinder His fruit in me. Help me to love others, because You love them. Thank You for loving me too.

For this week’s song, I chose Don Francisco’s “I Could Never Promise You,” which is often thought of as a wedding song but which I think applies just as well to all of a Christian’s relationships. How can we promise to love others without Jesus’ enabling? At the end of the video there’s some conversation about that.

Better than Offerings

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The religion scholar said, “A wonderful answer, Teacher! So lucid and accurate—that God is one and there is no other. And loving him with all passion and intelligence and energy, and loving others as well as you love yourself. Why, that’s better than all offerings and sacrifices put together!”
Mark 12:32-33, The Message*

Before I opened the Bible today, I was thanking God for His love. It’s so wonderful that He loves each of us—loves us—and that it’s unconditional. Nothing I can do will make Him love me any more or any less.

But in response to that love, I want to please Him. To bless Him, maybe. That’s where what I do makes a difference.

Sometimes I think once people get over the obstacle of thinking we have to earn God’s love by our performance, there’s a danger in thinking good works don’t matter. We’re saved by grace, not works.

What we do—on the outside and in our hearts—does matter. Loving God, loving others, shows that our relationships with God matter. It lets us grow in our faith.

And it pleases the Father more than offerings or sacrifices. For me, that’s reason enough.

Father, there are no words to thank You for loving me. Please help my heart to truly grasp that Your love is deep, unchanging and unearned. Help me love You, and help me love those around me. Give me a desire to please You—not because it could make You love me more, but to bless Your heart.

Let’s take Paul Baloche’s song, “Offering,” as our prayer today.

Janet Sketchley

Writing Christian Mysteries & Suspense

Tag Archives: relationships

Rebuild the House

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Out Through the Rubble

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Mending the Chasm

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Review: Majesty in Motion, by Stewart Brown

[Review copy from my personal library.]

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Love One Another

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Review: More Ready Than You Realize, by Brian D. McLaren

Book source: my personal library

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Christian Unity

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Influencers

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Love Each Other Deeply

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Better than Offerings

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[Review copy from my personal library.]

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Book source: my personal library

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