Tag Archives: control

Perspective and Gratitude

Think of the grateful, hopeful people you know. Have their lives been easy, or have they learned to rely on God despite their circumstances? It’s tempting to complain about the small stuff when the framework of our lives is rich with blessing. If we do it long enough, though, we don’t see the treasures that are really ours. I wonder if that’s why people keep gratitude journals.

This is something God is nudging me about in my own life. I need to be awake to the wonders of the present and delight in what He gives—and not allow desire for my own way to poison me.

I love how whatever He’s trying to show me will pop up in the strangest places. Here are a few:

§ I’ve recently discovered Louise Penny’s mystery series, set in small-town Quebec, Canada. Wish the language wasn’t so harsh in places, but I have so enjoyed the first two novels and am in queue for the third at the library. For mainstream novels, they treat Scripture and faith with respect. Armand Gamache is a homicide detective. Look at what he says:

“People expect me to be cynical because of my job… but they don’t understand. …I spend my days looking into the last room in the house, the one we keep barred and hidden even from ourselves. The one with all our monsters, fetid and rotting and waiting. My job is to find people who take lives. And to do that I have to find out why. And to do that I have to get into their heads and open that last door. But when I come out again,” he opened his arms in an expansive movement, “the world is suddenly more beautiful, more alive, more lovely than ever. When you see the worst you appreciate the best.” Dead Cold, by Louise Penny. [Headline Publishing Group, 2006, p. 268]

§ I finally had the chance to see the Chronicles of Narnia movie, Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Near the end, Prince Caspian realizes he’s spent his time regretting what’s been taken from him (his father), instead of embracing what he’s been given—a kingdom to rule. That changes his life.

§ One of this week’s posts at Other Food: Daily Devos includes this quote from Eugene Peterson’s A Long Obedience in the Same Direction:

“We can decide to live in response to the abundance of God and not under the dictatorship of our own poor needs. We can decide to live in the environment of a living God and not our own dying selves. We can decide to centre ourselves in the God who generously gives and not in our own egos which greedily grab.” A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, p. 96-97. [It’s worth reading Violet’s entire post here: Statute Songs]

§ I’ve been hearing Johnny Reid songs on the radio lately—and liking them. The first time I heard him,. NJ Lindquist was teaching at a local writers’ conference and she used one of his songs as an example of story: “Kicking Stones” . Again, it’s about how we choose to react to our circumstances.

§ My copy of Ann Voskamp‘s One Thousand Gifts arrived today. I’m sure it’s going to reinforce the message.

We may not have much control over what happens, but we can choose how to respond. We can choose where to focus. We can, by the grace of God, learn to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5, NIV*. Or in the fresh language of The Message we do it by “fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5, MSG**.

Johnny Reid’s official video for “Kicking Stones.” (2007, Open Road Records) [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foYTQPd7CNo]

*New International Version, ©2010 (NIV) Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2010 by Biblica

**The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Control

I get excited every time I go on a spiritual retreat, because God always tells me something. The message is often a surprise, sometimes painful, and always requires work on my part.

But it’s so precious to experience personal communication with Him, to sense He knows and cares about my needs. He understands.

At previous retreats, there’s been one clear moment when my spirit “gets” what God wants to say. This time it came in hints and clues, pieces. A trail to follow. It started with my friend Mary Waind’s post at Beech Croft Tales, before I even zipped my suitcase.

As I mulled over this matter of releasing control, I realized when I refuse to let go I’m surrendering to fear. I’m still not in control, and instead of giving the situation over to the One who wants to give me His best, I’m actually letting the enemy, the one who wants me to be afraid, take over. (read the full post here)

I thought about Mary’s words all the way to the retreat. And should not have been surprised to discover this was one of the recurring themes of the weekend.

Control, and the need to quit grasping for it. The need to trust God, who really is in control and is quite capable, thank you very much. To take down the walls we put up that only block what God wants to release.

After an enlightening weekend, the theme’s next instalment came from Ginny Jaques’ Something About the Joy:

I want the peace that comes from knowing God is sovereign, even though I’m not in control. (read the full post here)

Then what should appear in my in-box but the current issue of Sheila Wray Gregoire’s Reality Check newsletter?

Sheila says most times we’re in full control-freak mode it’s because we’re afraid—and she challenges those in the fallout zone to “bridge the sanity gap” by understanding the root cause and by helping, instead of pulling away.  The article is meant to help husbands understand their wives, but it got me thinking.

I’ve been taking note of these nudges to quit trying to control the universe, and making some subtle progress. But I also need to cut some slack to the controllers around me. Not to start doing everything their way, but to stop, pray and wonder what’s really behind their actions. And to respond in light of that.

How can I respond in a way that doesn’t compromise me but doesn’t threaten the other person? Is it a minor enough issue for me that we can simply do it her way? Can I at least remember that in protecting herself she’s not personally attacking me?

There are plenty of times when we try to control out of fear—fear that we’ll lose something precious, that we’ll look stupid or be hurt.

God understands our weaknesses and our fears, and we can trust that no matter what, He will be there. He will be enough. We can encourage one another to let down those walls.

There are other control battles that come from our own selfishness, or from the belief that if we don’t do it ourselves, it won’t be done right…. He wants to pry our fingers loose from these walls too.

For me, control links with resisting, holding back, protecting self and trying to force others. It’s trying to be author, puppet-master and stage-manager. Quite the opposite of trusting God’s sovereign authority.

What I’m hearing is that the call is to trust. To remember God’s sovereign power, to go out through my self-built walls to where Jesus wants to use me.

The result is release.

Any more words to share on the subject?

Oh, and here’s a song that echoes the whole “letting go of control” idea: Olivia Newton-John‘s “Have You Never Been Mellow“. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IFQZyxxyyM]

Everything We Have

…any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.”
Luke 14:33, NIV*

This is the memory verse for Unit 8 in the Experiencing God Workbook (Henry Blackaby and Claude King), and it stopped me.

I kept trying to go on with the first lesson, but the verse pulled me back.

The NIV titles this section “The Cost of Being a Disciple” and the context is about recognizing the high cost to follow Jesus—and following Him anyway.

I’ve never taken this to mean a literal giving away of all my possessions, but more a call to “hold them loosely”: instead of clutching and saying “Mine!”, to share and above all to put God first. Not to make them idols.

Reading the verse this time, however, I realized Jesus isn’t just talking about things. Specifically what hit me was that He includes my time.

Time is something many of us guard jealously. A lot of it’s already spoken for, but what discretionary time there is, especially once I’ve made plans for it, is not to be messed with.

But God, as Henry Blackaby says elsewhere in the study, has the right to interrupt us. To redirect or redeploy us. I struggle with discernment to know whether it’s a distraction I should ignore or a redirection from God that I should heed.

This verse reminded me that the bigger struggle is to surrender my time to God when it’s clear He wants to redirect it. To serve Him willingly in the new place instead of begrudging how I’d planned to serve in the old place.

Father, Jesus is not only Saviour but Lord. I know Your way is best, but sometimes it’s so hard to let go. Please give me a willing heard, and help me follow and obey. Help me truly give up control of everything I have—including my time—because it’s all Yours, and You are good.

Robin Mark’s “All For Jesus” is a regular prayer of mine, and it certainly fits this week.

*New International Version (NIV) Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.