Tag Archives: decisions

It’s Okay to Say No (Guest Post)

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

It’s Okay to Say No

by Steph Beth Nickel

“It’s vital that people have access to this information. What would you think of using my research and writing a book? No need to put my name on it.”

Sounds like a writer’s dream, doesn’t it?

The material is sound. It could help a lot of people. Theoretically, I could carve out time in my schedule.

Still, I knew the right thing to do was to turn down the offer.

As writers, we don’t have to take on every opportunity that comes our way.

Granted, we don’t always have the freedom to say no, but when that is a viable option, it’s important to weigh the pros and cons.

Here are nine questions to ask yourself when considering an opportunity that comes your way. (As a Christian, I believe it’s important to do so prayerfully, asking God for wisdom and direction.)

  1. Does the prospect of taking on this project excite me?
  2. Do I have the skills necessary to complete this project—or am I able to acquire them in a reasonable amount of time?
  3. How long will it take to complete this project? (It’s always important to give yourself more time than you think you need. The more involved the project, the more margin you’ll want to factor in.)
  4. Will I have to set aside other projects in order to take this on?
  5. Will I have to sacrifice volunteer commitments and time with family and friends?
  6. Will I need the support of others? Is so, would it be reasonable to ask it of them?
  7. Is it reasonable to think that I will have the physical, mental, and emotional energy it will take to push through until this project is complete?
  8. Will the return on investment (ROI) be worth it? (ROI doesn’t always refer to financial gain. For example, the sense of satisfaction that comes from completing a project you’re passionate about can make it worth the time and effort.)
  9. If after asking myself this series of questions, I’m still undecided, who can I discuss this with who knows me and my situation well enough to give me wise counsel?

When faced with a decision, I like to remember Lysa TerKeurst’s book The Best Yes. The title pretty much says it all.

To sum up how to best make a decision, we can ask ourselves a single question: Is this the best yes for me at this time?

And remember…

It really is okay to say no.

Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

Steph Beth Nickel is a freelance editor and writer and an author. If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.

Pushing Through … and When to Say “Enough” (Guest Post)

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Know when to push through, and when to say "enough"

[image via Pixabay]

Pushing Through … and When to Say Enough

by Steph Beth Nickel

Many of us have a difficult time saying no when asked to do something—even if we really don’t have enough time or energy to take on one more thing, no matter how small.

And, as Christians, a whirlwind of thoughts may rush to mind:

  • What if this is an opportunity God has placed before me?
  • What if I miss something He has for me?
  • If I have the ability to do what is being asked of me and there’s a need, isn’t that enough indication that I’m supposed to do it?

And what about those other questions, those questions we may not actually verbalize?

  • What will so and so think of me if I say no?
  • Who will do it if I don’t?
  • I’m supposed to go “the second mile.” Right?

I’ve recently experienced the necessity to do both: to say enough and to push through. And I believe both decisions were the right ones to make at the time.

Last weekend, for a few reasons, I didn’t get away on my annual writers’ retreat. However, I did deem it a “staycation.” I didn’t clean the church or attend the Sunday service. I didn’t cook for my family and only cleaned the kitchen because I wanted to, not because I expected or required it of myself. I did some writing and reading I wouldn’t have done otherwise and headed out of the house with my laptop to do so out of my day-to-day environment.

I also vegged more than I possibly should have, but all in all, it was a very good weekend. I got some physical rest and some mental rest, which may have been even more important.

This week, however, was different. My hubby generously shared his cold. I spent the day Tuesday down and out, sleeping and binge-watching Netflix. I didn’t have the ambition to do anything else. While I’m still fighting this virus, which has decided to settle in my chest, I was able to put in a full day Wednesday and Thursday and am facing another full day today.

This weekend promises to be a busy one. And although hunkering down for some extra rest sounds like a great idea, I am so very thankful that the Lord is giving me the wherewithal to focus on one task at a time and push through. Because this is not my natural tendency, there is no doubt that He deserves all the glory.

So, how can we tell when it’s right to decline a request and when we should step up?

Here are a few questions we may want to ask ourselves:

  • Have I prayed about it?
  • Will it jeopardize my current responsibilities?
  • Will it be a “one and done” project or will it lead to a long-term commitment?
  • How long will it actually take?
  • Do I know someone else who would enjoy taking on this task?
  • What is my real motivation to say yes?

These are only a few of the questions we could ask ourselves. What are some others that come to mind? (Please scroll down to add your suggestions.)

Tweetables

Know when to say enough and when to push through. (click to tweet)

Will taking on this project jeopardize your current responsibilities? (click to tweet)

Have you prayed about it? (click to tweet)

6 ways to tell when to say enough and when to push through. (click to tweet)

Steph Beth Nickel

Steph Beth Nickel
(Photo by Stephen G. Woo Photography)

Stephanie (Steph Beth) Nickel is an award-winning co-author, a freelance editor and writer, a labour doula, and a former personal trainer. She also loves to speak, teach, and take slice-of-life photos. She would love to connect with you on Facebook or Twitter, on her website or blog.

Guest Post: Are You Taking On Too Much?

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Are You Taking On Too Much?

by Steph Beth Nickel

I usually have my post to Janet well ahead of the deadline, but not this month. In fact, I needed a nudge—even though I had a reminder in my day planner. Sometimes that just isn’t enough.

I have recently started covering for our church administrator while she’s on maternity leave. I enjoy the job, but it does leave me scrambling because of the other responsibilities I am also juggling.

This post may very well be a case of “do what I say, not what I do,” but here goes.

Just how can we determine if we should take on any given task? Here are six ways you may want to consider the next time someone asks, “Oh, could you …”

Taking on too much

Pray About It

If you’re a Christian this may seem self-evident, but how many times do we take on something without asking the Lord for wisdom? We can’t do all the things that are asked of us—not even all the good things.

Evaluate the Task

How long will it take? Does it fit naturally into our schedule? Will we have to set aside something that should remain a priority? Will it hinder our ability to fulfill our current tasks effectively? Will it steal the downtime that is crucial to our mental and emotional well-being?

Give Something Up

I once heard a speaker say she never took on a new task without setting aside one she was already doing. Talk about self-control! I can’t see myself doing this—at least not yet.

Remember … No is Not a Bad Word

Some of us have difficulty saying no when we’re asked to do something. We don’t want to let the other person down. We don’t want to miss an opportunity God has for us. This is another key reason we need to pray before we take on a task. God promises to give wisdom to those who ask. Plus, He will give us the ability to graciously decline if that’s what’s necessary. We must remember, too, that it is His responsibility to deal with how the other person responds. We shouldn’t buckle under pressure if we are confident God has not called us to a specific task—at least not at this time.

Consult Your Spouse or a Trusted Friend

If it’s going to put a strain on the relationship with our spouse, it’s likely best to beg off. I have such an easygoing hubby sometimes I don’t think to ask him what he things of such and such a decision. He is always gracious and never makes me feel bad about making up my own mind, but I really should keep him in the loop … and not always after the fact. And whether we’re married or not, a trusted friend can often give us a perspective we can’t see because we’re just too close to the situation.

Finally … Pray Some More

Sometimes we take on something and it’s good for a season, but we just keep doing it even after that season is over. Praying over our schedule regularly is a good habit to get into. As I’ve often said, no matter how much I love my lists, the only To Do list that really matters is the one God has prepared for me. And the only way to discover what’s on that list is to dig into His Word and pray—lots!

So … are you taking on too much? Why not review these pointers and make changes to your To Do list as needed. I just may have to do the same.

Scroll down to the comments form to share your thoughts.

Steph Beth Nickel

Steph Beth Nickel
(Photo by Stephen G. Woo Photography)

Stephanie (Steph Beth) Nickel is an award-winning co-author, a freelance editor and writer, a labour doula, and a former personal trainer. She also loves to speak, teach, and take slice-of-life photos. She would love to connect with you on Facebook or Twitter, on her website or blog.

Choosing God’s Way

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Going a little ahead, he fell to the ground and prayed for a way out: “Papa, Father, you can—can’t you?—get me out of this. Take this cup away from me. But please, not what I want—what do you want?”
Mark 14:36, MSG*

I’ve been noticing how many of my choices are based on what I want, or how I feel. When the right choice goes against my preferences, I confess there’s a bit of internal grumbling.

And that’s just the little choices. In this passage, Jesus is wrestling with a huge one. Yes, He’s already chosen, but He’s down to the hardest moment and desperate for another way.

When He puts it back to the Father’s will, it’s not a case of “Your preference over Mine” as if they were choosing a restaurant. Nor is it a grudging “I guess we have to do it Your way.”

It’s a conscious trusting in the plan they made together, a decision to follow through because He agrees with the ultimate goal despite the cost to reach it.

When God asks us to do life His way, it’s not some megalomaniac desire for personal satisfaction.

It’s about fulfilling His plan, which, in case we’ve missed it, is about rescuing us and restoring us to full life in relationship to Him.

It’s about fulfilling His purposes in us, those things we said yes when He called us to do them. And He will provide the means if we’re doing our part by choosing His way.

Father, help me choose Your way in the big and the small things, not to put myself down, not even because You out-rank me, but because I trust You to fulfill Your purposes in and through me—to Your glory, and for the good of those who love You. Forgive my selfish desire to put myself first and chase immediate gratification. Help me concentrate on You, in whom all fullness dwells.

Our song this week is the classic hymn, “Have Thine Own Way,” sung by Jim Reeves.

*The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson.