Tag Archives: fear

Friday Friends: Grace Fox Blog Tour

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Interview with Grace Fox

Has fear kept you awake at night? Has it hindered you from saying yes to a new opportunity? Has it caused you to make impulsive choices you later regretted? If so, you’re not alone! Fear is a big deal for many women. If left unchecked, it can prevent us from fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives. So, what’s the answer? How can we move beyond fear into freedom?

Author Grace Fox has partnered with Stonecroft Ministries to write a small group resource titled Moving from Fear to Freedom: A Woman-to-Woman Conversation. This resource addresses women’s common fears and gives biblical and practical strategies to move beyond them.

Q: Fear seems to be an ever-present theme throughout the Bible. Describe the difference between healthy and unhealthy fear.

A: Healthy fear steers us toward wise decisions and actions. It promotes self-preservation. For example, we look both ways before crossing the street for fear of getting hit by a car. In contrast, unhealthy fear hinders our ability to fully embrace life because it consumes us with negative thinking and what-ifs. The effects can literally make us sick.

Q: How does destructive fear stunt our emotional or spiritual growth?

A: Destructive fear—the fear of rejection, for instance—might keep us from admitting to someone that we’ve been physically or sexually abused. Without receiving the help we need to deal with those issues, we never experience freedom. Our struggles might seriously hamper our ability to truly love and receive love in a marital relationship. This is just one example among many of how our emotional growth is affected.

Spiritually, fear can cause us to say no to God-given dreams or assignments because we’re afraid of personal inadequacy or financial insecurity. If we never step out in faith, then we never experience God’s ability to equip and provide in amazing ways. Spiritual growth comes when we say yes to God and “do it afraid.”

Q: You suggest we need to place our focus on God and not on fear. In practical terms, how do we do this?

A: Several strategies that I’ve found helpful…

  • Memorize Scripture promises and meditate on them throughout the day and as we fall asleep at night. We are transformed as our mind is renewed.
  • Fill our homes with praise and worship music.
  • Spend time in God’s word on a regular basis, not just when we’re in a panic. The more we do so, the more familiar we become with His promises and the better prepared we are to face frightening circumstances when they come.
  • Talk to the Lord throughout the day. Invite Him into the mundane. Practice His presence. The more we get to know Him, the more we’re able to trust Him in the face of fear.

Q: Most of us feel inadequate at times. You suggest we cannot use our inadequacies as an excuse for not participating with God’s purposes. How do we get past this?

A: We get past our fear of inadequacy by admitting we have it. Then we need to retrain our thinking to focus on God’s adequacies rather than our inadequacies.

  • Tell God how we feel. “Help! I don’t think I can do such-and-such.”
  • Tell a trusted friend and ask her to pray for us.
  • Move forward. Do it afraid and expect God to equip us.

Q: Describe this resource and how participants can receive the greatest benefit as they use it.

A: It’s a seven-week study filled with biblical teaching and personal anecdotes that can be used easily by either a small group of friends in a private home setting or a large women’s ministry. Each session begins by viewing a 25-30 minute teaching video. When the video ends, participants follow suggested Table Talk questions for about 15 minutes. Then they do the Bible study questions together. Each participant uses her own guide book so she can take notes and write answers. Facilitator’s notes are included. The study covers these topics:

  • an overview of fear
  • fear for our loved ones’ well-being
  • fear of personal inadequacy
  • fear of rejection
  • fear of facing the ghosts of our past
  • fear of the storms of life
  • fear of the unknown future

Q: Where can I buy this study?

It’s available through your local Christian book store, on Amazon, www.barnesandnoble.com, www.christianbooks.com, www.stl-distribution.com, www.winepressbooks.com, and of course, on Grace’s website, where group discounts apply. Visit Grace’s website for more information about her other books and speaking ministry.

For opportunities for a FREE copy of this DVD & Study Guide set of MOVING FROM FEAR TO FREEDOM, please follow this CSS Virtual Book Tour on Twitter (@Christianspkrs) or Facebook.)

Here’s a brief video trailer of the Moving From Fear to Freedom study guide: 

[I was given a complimentary copy of this DVD & Study Guide set from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speaker Services (www.ChristianSpeakerServices.com).]

Praying in Trust

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The whole Israelite community set out from the Desert of Sin, traveling from place to place as the LORD commanded. They camped at Rephidim, but there was no water for the people to drink. So they quarrelled with Moses and said, “Give us water to drink.”

Moses replied, “Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you put the LORD to the test?”
Exodus 17:2, NIV*

God had already given them a daily supply of manna in the desert. Now He patiently—and miraculously—provided water from a rock.

And he called the place Massah [testing] and Meribah [quarrelling] because the Israelites quarreled and because they tested the LORD saying, “Is the LORD among us or not?
Exodus 17:7, NIV*

The Israelites knew, better than we often do, that if God is present He can help. And they weren’t subject to our common fear that we’ve already asked too much and used up His gifts for us.

I think they feared abandonment. “If trouble hits, does that mean He left us?”

They knew they had nothing in themselves to convince Him to stay. They didn’t think about His character that keeps Him faithful to His commitments. Of His covenant that they would be His people and He would be their God.

We often need to be reminded of the same thing. As we persist in prayer, the proper attitude is not to nag for answers but to pray continually in thanksgiving and confidence, and keep alert to recognize the answers… especially if they come in small stages.

Father God, help me remember that You’re leading me. Help me trust Your character and Your promises and rely on You. Whatever my needs, I have Jesus. All I have to do is ask for help and be alert to recognize the answer. I understand it may well not come in the form I’d like, but I pray with confidence in Your perfect wisdom and timing.

∞

Here’s Robin Mark singing Brian Doerksen’s “Faithful One.”

*New International Version (NIV) Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Review: Fearless, by Max Lucado

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Fearless, by Max Lucado (Thomas Nelson, 2009)

Fear, it seems, has taken a hundred-year lease on the building next door and set up shop. Oversize and rude, fear is unwilling to share the heart with happiness…. Fear is the big bully in the high school hallway…. Fear herds us into prison and slams the doors.

Wouldn’t it be great to walk out? (Fearless, page 5)

I always expect a Max Lucado book to be inspiring, encouraging and worth reading, and this one’s no exception. Max traces fear to its root danger: “Fear corrodes our confidence in God’s goodness.” (page 9) We believe the lie that we’re alone, or that God doesn’t care or can’t help.

Fearless addresses the most common issues head on: the fear of not mattering; of disappointing God; of lack; fear for our children; of challenges and worst-case scenarios; of violence, the future and death; even the fear that God is not real—or that He might not stay in the “box” where we’d like to contain Him.

There’s value in articulating our fear, in looking at it plainly. We can see legitimate need for concern, and we can see when we’re slipping into paranoia. Putting our concerns into words makes them more manageable, and it helps us to pray

Max Lucado gives us nuggets of Scripture to counter the fear, and I think the wisest way to use this book is to prayerfully memorize those bits of truth that are most relevant to our personal struggles. He also gives us practical suggestions, like his “Eight worry-stoppers” in chapter 4.

The discussion guide at the end of the book is another valuable tool for individual or group use. And as Max says, the truth in these pages isn’t something to be absorbed in a one-time exposure. “The parched soil of fear needs steady rain.” (p. 33) We’ll need to re-read it, to reassure ourselves of the message and to let it sink into our spirits.

Fearless is definitely a good weapon for our daily living needs. It’s an easy, well-written read that does justice to the seriousness of the issues. You can read the first chapter of Fearless or listen to the first Fearless sermon here.

New York Times bestselling author Max Lucado has written a number of award-winning books and is a Minister of Preaching at Oak Hills Church in San Antonio. Visit his ministry website, UpWords, to learn more about Max and to be encouraged. The site offers daily devotionals and other resources.

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Two other strong resources for defeating fear in our lives are Moving from Fear to Freedom by Grace Fox and So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore.

[Review copy from my personal library.]

Not Anxious

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Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6, NIV*

Sunday morning I watched the blowing snow and thought about the 6-hour bus ride Wise Guy Son had booked for that afternoon to go back to university. The route includes a section of highway noted for its whiteout conditions.

I knew I could spend the whole day fretting about his safety, and the only thing I’d gain would be muscle tension. Been there, done that.

It took several times of consciously stopping to commit the situation back into God’s hands (and to remember that the bus driver is a trained professional who presumably dislikes death and lawsuits) but I was able to join in morning worship instead of worrying, and to relax in the afternoon instead of checking road conditions online.

The bus reached its destination safely and almost on schedule, and I’m praising God for the answer to prayer but also for the progress He’s making in my heart.

Usually my prayer is something like, “See the problem, God? Please help.”

I thank Him for His power and love, and for being with us. I thank Him for the plans He’s already made, that whatever the situation is has not caught Him by surprise. But I keep aware of the problem.

Now I see a bit more to the “with thanksgiving” part of today’s verse. I need to thank Him with expectation that He will act. Not to decide how He’ll act, because that’s His call. But after committing the need to Him, I need to stop looking at it and trust Him.

He reinforced the lesson by not bringing this devotional together until Tuesday mid-afternoon. I schedule them to post early Wednesday mornings, and this particular week has no time Tuesday evening to write.

He’s been giving me a Wednesday devotional thought every week since He nudged me to start blogging in March of 2008. It’s not usually this close to the line, though.

My prayer wasn’t “Lord, do You have something to say?” so much as “Lord, help me not to miss what You say.” Still, there was a definite choice to make. Would I go through the day reminding Him of my need, or would I look expectantly for His reply?

To me, there’s a difference. The first way still has the tension, the uncertainty. The second has a confidence that God will do what He planned, even if I don’t see it yet.

Father God, Your plans for us are good, and You love us. We don’t always like what happens to us, nor do You. But You are our Creator and Sustainer, and Your patient grace teaches us to trust You. Give us the confidence to pray with thanksgiving and with expectation that You have heard… and that You will act. Thank You for your grace.

∞

Here’s another song from the newsboys that expresses our confidence: “Strong Tower” from their Devotion CD.

*New International Version (NIV) Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Sustained

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The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.
Hebrews 1:3a, NIV*

“Sustaining all things by His powerful word.”

I don’t know about you, but to me the world seems a little out of control. Natural disasters are more frequent and widespread, society’s morals keep sliding, sickness and anxiety thrive. Of course, it doesn’t help that I finished 2010 by reading the book of Revelation.

Today’s verse is from the beginning of Hebrews, and later in the same chapter we read about the heavens and the earth perishing. The writer ends that passage by reaffirming that God does not change.

God the Father won’t grow weak or fail. Jesus the Son will sustain all things. The Holy Spirit will never leave us.

I take comfort in that. The world may be a scary place, and material things will wear out, break and decay, but I can trust the God who made the universe to sustain what matters to Him… and that includes us.

Mighty God, we can depend on You to sustain us. Give us the grace and faith we need to keep our confidence firmly fixed in You, who alone are worthy. Because of who You are, we can rest in hope.

∞

This version of the newsboys’ “Lord, I Don’t Know” doesn’t show the lyrics, but the images are really effective.

*New International Version (NIV) Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Control

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I get excited every time I go on a spiritual retreat, because God always tells me something. The message is often a surprise, sometimes painful, and always requires work on my part.

But it’s so precious to experience personal communication with Him, to sense He knows and cares about my needs. He understands.

At previous retreats, there’s been one clear moment when my spirit “gets” what God wants to say. This time it came in hints and clues, pieces. A trail to follow. It started with my friend Mary Waind’s post at Beech Croft Tales, before I even zipped my suitcase.

As I mulled over this matter of releasing control, I realized when I refuse to let go I’m surrendering to fear. I’m still not in control, and instead of giving the situation over to the One who wants to give me His best, I’m actually letting the enemy, the one who wants me to be afraid, take over. (read the full post here)

I thought about Mary’s words all the way to the retreat. And should not have been surprised to discover this was one of the recurring themes of the weekend.

Control, and the need to quit grasping for it. The need to trust God, who really is in control and is quite capable, thank you very much. To take down the walls we put up that only block what God wants to release.

After an enlightening weekend, the theme’s next instalment came from Ginny Jaques’ Something About the Joy:

I want the peace that comes from knowing God is sovereign, even though I’m not in control. (read the full post here)

Then what should appear in my in-box but the current issue of Sheila Wray Gregoire’s Reality Check newsletter?

Sheila says most times we’re in full control-freak mode it’s because we’re afraid—and she challenges those in the fallout zone to “bridge the sanity gap” by understanding the root cause and by helping, instead of pulling away.  The article is meant to help husbands understand their wives, but it got me thinking.

I’ve been taking note of these nudges to quit trying to control the universe, and making some subtle progress. But I also need to cut some slack to the controllers around me. Not to start doing everything their way, but to stop, pray and wonder what’s really behind their actions. And to respond in light of that.

How can I respond in a way that doesn’t compromise me but doesn’t threaten the other person? Is it a minor enough issue for me that we can simply do it her way? Can I at least remember that in protecting herself she’s not personally attacking me?

There are plenty of times when we try to control out of fear—fear that we’ll lose something precious, that we’ll look stupid or be hurt.

God understands our weaknesses and our fears, and we can trust that no matter what, He will be there. He will be enough. We can encourage one another to let down those walls.

There are other control battles that come from our own selfishness, or from the belief that if we don’t do it ourselves, it won’t be done right…. He wants to pry our fingers loose from these walls too.

For me, control links with resisting, holding back, protecting self and trying to force others. It’s trying to be author, puppet-master and stage-manager. Quite the opposite of trusting God’s sovereign authority.

What I’m hearing is that the call is to trust. To remember God’s sovereign power, to go out through my self-built walls to where Jesus wants to use me.

The result is release.

Any more words to share on the subject?

Oh, and here’s a song that echoes the whole “letting go of control” idea: Olivia Newton-John‘s “Have You Never Been Mellow“.

Review: Moving from Fear to Freedom, by Grace Fox

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Moving from Fear to Freedom, by Grace Fox (Harvest House Publishers, 2007)

I’m excited to learn that a DVD and teaching guide to accompany this book will release in early 2011. [Ordering information coming soon at the Grace Fox website] The book itself is valuable, and I’m sure adding a small group dynamic will help readers apply the truths Grace shares. The message is uncomplicated, but a journey is easier with companions.

Because of the upcoming new material and Grace’s current virtual book tour, I thought I’d re-post my review of Moving from Fear to Freedom from last October:

In this book, subtitled A Woman’s Guide to Peace in Every Situation, author/speaker Grace Fox gives women an honest look at common fears—her own and others’, and maintains that there is an upside to fear: it can let us experience more of God in our lives as we cling to Him. We can move beyond theoretical head knowledge to practical heart knowledge. It reminds me of Job saying, “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.” (Job 42:5, NIV)

Each chapter of Moving from Fear to Freedom deals with a fear that could be debilitating: our children’s safety, loss of possessions, hard times, the future, inadequacy, rejection, issues in our past, and aging. Grace introduces us to contemporary women and biblical characters who discovered how trusting and relying on God overcame fear’s effects.

Chapters also include “Points for Progress”: questions to help individuals or groups think through and apply what they’ve read, “Promises to Ponder”: Scriptures that give God’s perspective on our fears, and “Praying the Promises”: those same verses personalized in prayer.

It’s these practical steps that make the book so valuable. Personal testimony that other women not only face but can overcome fear is encouraging, but learning how to deal with our own personal fears is liberating. As Grace says (page 9) “Filling our minds with the truth of God’s Word equips us to face fearful situations as they come along.”

And they will come along. The stories in this book show that although there may be clear moments of choice—to trust God for the first time or with a particular fear—the “moving from fear to freedom” is a journey rather than a single step. Armed with a trust in God’s character and an arsenal of promises from His Word, encouraged by the knowledge that most women are facing a variation of the same struggle, we can take that journey.

Men struggle with fears too, and Grace’s reference notes include both male- and female-authored books on the subject. Not that a man would dissolve in a puff of smoke if he read Moving from Fear to Freedom, but be warned that the personal stories and examples all come from a female perspective.

I found this a helpful book, easy to read, and one that I’d recommend to others. Different chapters will speak personally to different readers, but the foundation is the same: take the scary step to trust God with our fears. He loves us and He is enough to bring us to freedom.

Sound like wishful thinking? I’ll let Grace answer that one:

Maintaining an attitude of trust and rest is easier said than done, but it is possible. How? By understanding the character of God and how it relates to the nitty-gritty of everyday life. (page 57)

To find out more about Grace Fox’s ministry, including her other books, or to sign up for her free monthly e-newsletter, you can visit her website. Grace’s blog is Daring. Deep. Devoted. You can read an interesting interview with Grace about fear and freedom at Heidi McLaughlin’s blog, Heart Connection.

Out Through the Rubble

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Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28, NIV*

I got away for a much-needed spiritual retreat last weekend. Our speaker challenged us to ask God to take down the walls we’ve built, and to let His living water flow out through us instead of being dammed up.

As part of this process, she asked us meditate on Scripture. Not sure what verse to choose, I thought, “Come to Me”. Not a verse, but a fragment. Okay.

Come to Me.

It said some things that meshed with our weekend:

  • step out through the rubble of your wall;
  • you need to be with the people you’ve walled out; and
  • Jesus is waiting there to welcome you (not that He’s not with you in your self-made prison too).

It wasn’t until later I recognized the phrase as coming from Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28. But don’t they fit beautifully?

If we’re struggling to hold up a wall, we’re definitely weary and burdened. It’s hard work. And it never ends.

Trusting Jesus to be in charge gives us rest. Taking down the walls lets us be ourselves: the gifts God has for those around us.

Father, I praise You for Your grace and mercy to bring us back into relationship with You, and for Your healing and restoration in our lives. Thank You for setting us free, for equipping us to live with one another and with You. The world may look out of control, but You are sovereign. Teach us to live trusting in You, listening for and confident in Your leading.

∞

I had trouble finding a song for this, but Francesca Battistelli’s “Free to Be Me” captures the feeling of how I want to live on the other side of the rubble.

*New International Version (NIV) Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Review: So Long Insecurity, by Beth Moore

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So Long Insecurity, by Beth Moore (Tyndale House Publishers, 2010)

“Insecurity among women is epidemic, but it is not incurable. Don’t expect it to go away quietly, however. We’re going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us.” (p. xiii)

Drawing on her own experience and the responses of over 1,000 women (and men!), and using Scripture as a key weapon, Beth Moore has given us a book that equips us to change. So Long Insecurity is about empowering women to find their security in God.

One surprising point that comes up early in the book is the idea that it may not just be self-doubt that cripples us—we may be doubting God.

How? By doubting what He says about us. He says He loves us, and that He values us. But do we secretly think we know better, that if He really knew us completely He’d discover He’s been wrong?

The book exposes insecurity for what it is—a lie from the enemy of our souls—and takes a good look at the things that may have let it flourish in our lives.

There may be parts you relate to and parts you don’t, depending on your own personal experience. Insecurity manifests itself in various ways, and some women may be surprised to discover this is what’s been hindering them.

Prayer and Scripture form the basis of our defence against our individual default patterns of insecurity. One key verse is from Proverbs 31:25, where it declares “She is clothed with strength and dignity.”

Our God-given right to dignity—and our responsibility not to give that away when something threatens us—is central to maintaining our security. No, dignity is not something we can earn. It’s a gift from our God, and we need to hold it tight.

We also need to trust God. Beth says, “Whenever you get hit by a wave of insecurity, the wind driving it is always fear” (p. 320).She reminds us to consciously choose to trust God without conditions.

Not to say, “I’ll trust You as long as You don’t let my fear come true.” To decide that even if what we fear happens, we will trust Him to look after us.

If we must picture the worst-case scenario, we need to remember that God will be in it too. He won’t vanish in a puff of surprise and leave us fending for ourselves.

So Long Insecurity isn’t a quick-fix, one-time deal, because the triggers to insecurity are all around us. But it is a practical resource to help us reclaim our security and to arm us with what we need to guard ourselves.

I appreciated the solid reliance on Scripture, and the focus verses and short prayers that are perfect to write down and carry with us. There’s also a slightly longer prayer we can use each morning to keep our defences up.

Working through this book has changed me. I’m not yet where I want to be, but I’m closer. And I have the tools to get there. Whether you’re deeply or only mildly insecure, or if you want to understand an insecure woman in your life, I recommend reading So Long Insecurity. Check out the first chapter of So Long Insecurity here.

Beth Moore is a popular Bible teacher and author. You can watch an interview with Beth Moore about So Long Insecurity here, or learn more about the book here. Or click here to visit the So Long Insecurity website.

[Book from my personal library—and while I may lend it to you, I want it back!]

Review: Just Between You and Me, a novel by Jenny B. Jones

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Just Between You and Me, by Jenny B. Jones (Thomas Nelson, 2009)

Maggie Montgomery has done video shoots all over the world, but the one place she doesn’t want to be is Ivy, the town where she grew up.

Maggie’s a fairly new Christian, and she senses God has brought her home for a reason…but why?

Her father doesn’t want to see her, but he’s desperate for help with her unruly niece, Riley. Riley’s mom is mentally ill and hasn’t been able to care for her.

Maggie is smart, sassy, and she comes with a lot of emotional baggage. When she shows up in her home town, her high school friend Beth is the only person who remembers her who’s not toting a huge grudge. Maggie’s feisty enough to handle it, but I found myself getting defensive on her behalf.

Handsome veterinarian Connor Blake has some harsh, preconceived ideas about Maggie, but it doesn’t take long for him to understand her almost too well. Maggie thrives on keeping everyone at arms’ length—so why does being with Connor make her want to drop her defences?

Jenny B. Jones writes with a snappy sense of humour and tight delivery. This is one of those novels that works well in the present tense, first person. Present tense usually feels contrived to me, but the character of Maggie has such a strong voice that it feels like she’s really telling us what’s happening. Combined with the title of “Just Between You and Me,” it feels like Maggie’s telling the story one-on-one to a close friend.

Like the few others I’ve read in the Christian chick-lit genre, Just Between You and Me is not all surface and fluff. Maggie’s experience changes her life, and aspects of it—and the process of her learning—can shape readers as well. For all of her daredevil reputation, Maggie has a major fear issue when it comes to relationships—and to water, because she wasn’t able to save her drowning mother.

Just Between You and Me is fresh, funny and real—and the most feel-good book I’ve read in a long time. It’s actually one of maybe five novels or short fiction that I’d count as life-changing. An added benefit for me is the title: every time I thought about the novel, I’d hear the April Wine song.

You can read chapter one of Just Between You and Me or learn more about the author at the Jenny B. Jones website. The Thomas Nelson website has a reader discussion guide you might want to check out after you’ve read the novel. Just Between You and Me is aimed at adults, but Jenny is also the author of novels for young adults: the Katie Parker Production series and A Charmed Life series. YA novels are fun, and I look forward to checking these out.

[Review copy borrowed from my local public library. If you’re in Canada, you can get it via inter-library loan… or buy your own copy. It’s worth it!]