Tag Archives: priorities

Consider the Alternatives (Guest Post)

Two 3-D generic human figures, palms raised, considering what to do with a large 3-D word: OPTIONS. — Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

Consider the Alternatives

by Steph Beth Nickel

There’s a time to press on toward a goal and a time to consider alternatives. This applies to our writing, as it does to other pursuits.

I find myself debating whether I should edit and indie publish a series of devotionals I originally wrote and recorded for HopeStreamRadio a decade ago, when it first launched. For years, I’ve thought I would offer it as an ebook and a print-on-demand physical book, but now I’m reconsidering my options.

I have notes from two beta readers which I will review no matter how I get these devotionals out into the world. I am incredibly thankful for the time these two women spent reviewing my manuscript, and their comments are sure to make the final product a better one—no matter what that product is. Some things are of value even if we do choose an alternative path.

With the advent of Substack, another avenue has opened for writers to offer both free and paid work. A series of devotionals. A collection of short stories. A novel released chapter by chapter. The possibilities are virtually endless. Creatives of all sorts can make their work available to the public.

When considering alternatives, whether it’s with regards to our writing or some other endeavour, we must ask ourselves a series of questions. Below are just five of them:

Is my current process working well? If it is, there’s no need to be distracted by every “shiny new possibility” that presents itself. (That’s what I hear at any rate. I have a tendency to flit from one thing to the next to the next, one of the reasons Nurture and Inspire Love is still an unpublished file on my computer.)
Do I have the wherewithal to learn the new process? No matter what route we take, if we’re not already familiar with the process and the tools, there will be a learning curve.
Do I know where to find reliable instruction? Do I have contacts who either have the information I require or who know where to find it? Do I have the time and financial resources to read a book, take a course, or hire an assistant?
I must know my Why. For example, if I am going to publish on Substack, am I willing to make my work available for free, or do I need to place some or all of it behind a pay wall?
If I need to earn money with my endeavours, how can I get the best return on my investment (ROI)?

Traditional book publishing. Publishing with a small press. Independent (indie) publishing. Newsletters. Subscription models such as Substack. The list goes on.

And if your goals don’t include getting your writing into the world, your list of alternatives will be different, but likely equally as long.

What goals are you pursuing? Are there alternatives you’ve been considering? What factors tip the scales for you?

Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

As an editor, Steph Beth Nickel has the honour of coming alongside writers to help them polish their work. As the coauthor of Paralympian Deb Willows’s memoirs, Steph has been blessed to work with this amazing woman. And as a future self-published author, with the Lord’s help, Steph has taken brave steps toward publication.

If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.

Motivation vs. Overwhelm (Guest Post)

1 Reply

A person sits at a desk, head hidden behind a tall stack of books. The book on top is open, and the person is reaching for it. — Image by WOKANDAPIX from Pixabay

Motivation vs. Overwhelm

by Steph Beth Nickel

Are your shelves bowing under the weight of unread skills development books?

Have you subscribed to a plethora of podcasts to develop as a writer?

Do you sign up for innumerable courses you never complete?

If so…

Welcome to the club!

This book comes highly recommended. If I read that book, I’ll have the motivation to complete my WIP. If I buy this bestseller, I’ll be sure to accomplish my writing goals.

Does this sound like you?

Yes?

Again, welcome to the club!

The same holds true for the podcasts I listen to and the courses I sign up for, whether it’s writing, getting back into a regular exercise routine, taking up a new hobby, trying new recipes, or developing my spiritual life.

While a new book, podcast, or course may inspire me for a short time, I must persevere. And follow-through? Well, that’s where I fall short. And motivation becomes overwhelm.

What can we do when this is the case?

Here are eight suggestions:

Gather all the books you want to read or re-read into one place.
Determine which are most relevant to your current season as a writer.
Set aside outdated volumes and those that aren’t currently applicable to your works-in-progress.
Read a chapter, or a portion of a chapter, each day. Apply what you’ve learned immediately if possible.
Repeat with each book you want to read.
Approach your podcasts the same way. Determine which are of benefit. (And yes, we all need to “chill” at times. Not all our books or podcasts have to be educational per se.)
Determine which courses you signed up for most recently. If they are relevant to what you are currently working on, go through the courses one at a time, setting aside time each week (or several times per week) based on available time.
Admit to yourself that not every book, podcast, and course is relevant to your current season. Some may even be outdated. Take a deep breath and be willing to delete / unsubscribe / give away what is no longer relevant.

When we can apply what we’re learning, we’ll likely remain motivated to persevere.

If we hold onto too many resources, they will simply weigh us down.

What’s something that you find overwhelming rather than motivating? Are you ready to let it go?

What’s something that you’re ready to begin or get back to? A book? A podcast? A course? Something else?

Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.

Not Second Best (Guest Post)

Leave a reply

A young woman holds a coffee cup in front of her mouth. You can tell from her eyes that she's smiling. — Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Not Second Best

by Steph Beth Nickel

I’ll write a book when…

I’ll write my next book when…

There are countless numbers of people who would like to write a book “some day,” whether it’s their first or thirty first. In fact, you may be one of them. I know I am.

I have numerous ideas for books I’d like to write and self-publish, but will I get around to it? We’ll see.

For now, my life is filled with editing others’ manuscripts, assisting my hubby as we prepare to renovate and sell our home of over 20 years, planning for our move west, serving as Contest Coordinator for InScribe—and yes, tweaking and submitting the manuscript I wrote with my coauthor.

Are these things keeping me from completing other manuscripts I’ve begun and those floating around my mind? Are they getting in the way of writing and publishing picture books, women’s fiction, devotionals, etc., etc., etc.? Are they second best?

To be honest, I have several hours each day that I could dedicate to writing. And while you may not, there are probably 15-60-minute blocks of time you could set aside for writing multiple times per week.

But does that mean that if we don’t “straighten up and fly right,” for whatever reason, we should view our day-to-day responsibilities and even our socialization and relaxation as second best?

We’ve all heard a lot about mindset these days, but how we view our endeavours has a lot to do with how we spend our time. Plus, our mindset has even more to do with our attitude and emotions.

Let’s look at how we spend our time, maybe even keep track for a few days or a week of how we spend each hour of the day.

We can’t be “the best” at everything, but we do have to prioritize our tasks. Too often, downtime and writing are at the bottom of the list. And too often, we resent our “evil day job” and/or other day-to-day responsibilities.

What if we began to give thanks for the opportunities to earn an income, care for our aging family member, play outside with our children or grandchildren?

What if we reminded ourselves that blessing even one other person is a privilege—even when it’s draining?

What if we gave ourselves the grace to watch a TV show, listen to a podcast, or read a novel without guilt?

Would there still be time to write?

In my case, I know the answer is an unequivocal yes. And you might find the same is true for yourself. But if not, maybe now isn’t the season to write that book. That doesn’t mean, however, that it will never be the right time. And if you can carve out those few minutes even two or three times per week, we may be celebrating with you in the next year or two that you’re ready to press Publish or send off queries to agents and/or publishers.

Wishing you all the best (not second best) today and always!

Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.

Less is More? (Guest Post)

1 Reply

Less is More?

by Steph Beth Nickel

I’m writing this at the end of October. I will let you know in the comments how I did with my goals for November.

Prioritize your current WIP (work in progress). Make room on your schedule. Keep your appointments with yourself the way you would with anyone else.

These are all good pieces of advice.

However…

You are a unique individual, a creative.

Sheer willpower and including my two current works in progress on my schedule have not been enough to keep me writing.

While it isn’t surprising that spending four days with my coauthor and working exclusively on her second memoir got me back into the groove of working on Keep Looking Up, what happened recently goes against conventional wisdom and fuels me up even more.

I was going to sign up for NaNoWriMo again this year and commit to working on my YA speculative fiction novel, which I’ve been working on off and on for several years—yes, years. Instead, I have committed to FlashNano. The goal: write 30 short stories in 30 days.

Am I crazy? Possibly…

However…

There are times in my life when the more I take on, the more motivated I am to work on projects I’ve neglected for far too long.

I recently wrote a 1400-word short story to submit for possible publication in the InScribe anthology that will be published in 2024. Whether it’s chosen or not, I’m pleased with how it turned out.

Because I wrote “Love Your Enemy,” I’m primed to work on Deb’s memoir and the YA novel as well as dive into the adventure of writing more short stories.

Of course, I’ll have to focus on my goals in order to accomplish them. I’ll have to add them to my daily Action Plan (aka my To-Do List). I’ll also have to set aside other things that I won’t have time to accomplish.

But by the end of November, I should have many more words written and polished. And as a writer, I’ve come to realize that none of the words we write are wasted.

Here are six reasons I’ve come to this conclusion:

Practice may not make perfect, but it does make us better writers.
Working on a new or different project can help us get unstuck with our current work(s) in progress.
The more we write, the more it may fill the writing well or charge our writing battery.
When we write works that seem to flow from us, it may give us the wherewithal to get back to those projects that we find tedious and uninteresting. (Most writers have to work on this type of project from time to time—or frequently.)
We may end up publishing a piece we originally wrote just for fun after we revise and polish it.
A piece we write may spark a longer work that gets picked up by a magazine or book publisher or one we choose to self publish.

So, I’ve found that, with writing, less is simply less. And more? Well, the more I write, the more I’m motivated to keep writing.

How about you? Do you need to focus on a single project, or does writing unrelated pieces motivate you to get back to those works that you’ve been neglecting?

Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.

Is Balance a Bad Word? (Guest Post)

Leave a reply

Letter tiles spelling out "Balance". — Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay

Is Balance a Bad Word?

by Steph Beth Nickel

How do you feel about the word balance?

When I was in Bible College (approximately a million years ago), I thought the word was synonymous with compromise.

If you “balanced” your spiritual life with your other responsibilities, weren’t you denying the scriptural mandate to do everything as if doing it for the Lord?

It took time, but I realized balance is not a bad word. It doesn’t necessarily mean compromise. Plus, it doesn’t mean that you believe God is more interested in certain aspects of your life than in others.

For example, we are faced with the challenge of balancing how we spend out time and what we focus on every. single. day.

Do I stop and pray for those in the path of hurricanes such as Fiona, which recently affected friends in both Bermuda and the Atlantic provinces of Canada or do I forge ahead, crossing off items from my never-ending To-Do List?

The answer should be BOTH.

As I pray, I can ask God if He wants me to become more personally involved.

If the answer is yes, then I may have to set aside items on my list that are not of high priority.

I must find the right balance.

When I hear about things that are important to me, things that fire me up, I can be tempted to change course, to take up a banner that is not mine to carry, to get distracted from the call of God on my life. I can—and often do—become unbalanced.

I have to ask myself some questions when I’m tempted to change course, something that happens far more frequently than you might imagine.

These questions might also help you if you’re trying to balance your priorities and pursuits.

What are my current obligations? Are there any I could consider setting aside? Which are non-negotiable?
If a new opportunity comes my way, do I have room in my schedule and the energy to take on something more or will I have to set aside something I’m currently working on?
Do I say yes to tasks because I feel God has brought these opportunities into my life or do I say yes because I have a hard time saying no to people—especially if the opportunity intrigues me and is something I have the skill set to accomplish?
On the other hand, do I wear blinders and miss opportunities that the Lord brings my way because I’m so focused on sticking to my current To-Do List?
Do I take on things because I’m “a fixer” who genuinely cares about coming alongside others? Still, there is only so much I’m responsible for, and it’s important to prayerfully discern God’s priorities before jumping in and trying to “fix” something He hasn’t called me to fix.

As a woman of a certain age (61), I’ve finally had to admit that I can’t pursue every shiny object or take up every cause that is important to me.

I foresee that I will always be eclectically interested and eclectically involved. However, I am prayerfully trying to focus my energies on accomplishing the tasks that God has clearly given me and leaving the rest up to others.

Have I found the perfect balance? Not by a long shot, but I’m getting closer.

Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.

Excuses vs. Reasons (Guest Post)

5 Replies

Signposts: One arrow says "one way" and the opposite one says "or another". — Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

Excuses vs. Reasons

By Steph Beth Nickel

Do you scold yourself when you don’t get everything done on your daily To-Do List or when you don’t achieve everything you’d hoped to achieve?

Beating yourself up about it rarely, if ever, gets the job done.

However, we all must be honest with ourselves and evaluate if we’re making excuses or have legitimate reasons for failing to cross everything off our list.

Excuses include the following (just ask me how I know):

Watching “just one more” episode of a show we’re enjoying…or, at least, tolerating.
Scrolling through our newsfeed for “just a few more minutes.”
Thinking, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” (Trust me; I put the PRO in procrastination.)

On the other side of the coin are legitimate reasons for not achieving the things on our list:

Something truly urgent comes up that demands our immediate attention.
Our expectations of ourselves are unreasonable.
Our physical and/or emotional well needs refilling.

These are only a handful of examples, but you get the idea.

And now for the good news!

Whether you’ve been making excuses or have perfectly good reasons for what you do or don’t get done, there are ways you can silence that finger-wagging inner voice:

If you make a To-Do List or simply record deadlines and occasions you don’t want to miss, prioritize your list. What is time-sensitive and something you must/really want to remember? To make sure you don’t miss anything important, write it down somewhere you will check often—whether in a paper planner or on an app.
While it’s important to take other people’s feelings and ideas into consideration, be careful not to allow their priorities to influence your schedule unless those priorities line up with what you believe to be God’s plans and purposes for you.
Be reasonable. There are only so many hours in the day, and you’re only one person.
If you don’t achieve everything on your list, be honest with yourself. Did you have legitimate reasons, or did you find yourself making excuses?
If you find you’re making excuses, choose ONE to work on until it’s no longer a default. Don’t try to eliminate all the excuses at once, or you’ll simply become frustrated and scold yourself even more.
Get into the habit of making an Accomplishments or Victory List. Record what you get done and regularly review the list. It will help when you’re tempted to become discouraged. (Include household chores and running errands. It may feel like you’re getting very little done, but an itemized list will put that misconception to rest.)
As believers, committing our day to the Lord before we get out of bed, praying over each task, and laying down what we did or did not achieve before Him each night will make a huge difference in how we create our To-Do Lists. It will also help us keep our focus where it belongs and will make us more sensitive to His leading.

Be positive. Be patient. And be prayerful.

Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.

Conquering Overestimation (Guest Post)

7 Replies

Conquering Overestimation

by Steph Beth Nickel

Have you ever overestimated how much you could get done in a day? Do you perpetually add more things to your To Do List than is reasonable? Do you find yourself discouraged at the end of the day—or thinking, “Oh, well! Maybe tomorrow will be different”?

Yes?

Me, too!

Below are six ideas that help me—if I remember to implement them. (Note: I work from home and have a lot of flexibility in my schedule. Hopefully, even if you have a traditional 9-5, you’ll find some of the suggestions helpful.)

Planner notebook — Image by Miesha Moriniere from Pixabay

Start with gratitude. It’s so easy to dread our “evil day job” or resent spending time with our family if we view them as interruptions to what we really want to do. If, instead, we itemize related things we’re thankful for, it will go a long way to changing our mindset. Recently, I purchased a taskpad that says HAPPY on the cover. Each morning I fill a single page with things I’m thankful for. I use coloured markers and include stickers and washi tape because this simple expression of creativity makes me happy.
Prioritize your list. Currently, I place each task I want to accomplish under one of three categories: YES, MAYBE, and HOPEFULLY.
Double check your list. Is there anything that gets your mojo flowing on your YES list or do these pursuits get relegated to the MAYBE or HOPEFULLY column? A strong work ethic and sense of responsibility are admirable, but if we don’t “refill the well,” it gets more and more draining to accomplish the non-negotiables.
Know yourself. Are you an early bird or a night owl? Determine when your creative juices flow most freely and when you have the highest energy levels. As much as possible, schedule your tasks accordingly. If a certain task requires a clear head and undivided focus, try to accomplish it at the most opportune time of day. You may be able to fit in those you can do on autopilot when your energy stores are running low.
Schedule at least one much-loved task when your energy levels are high. Accomplishing one such task when you have abundant energy goes a long way to building your reserves. You don’t want to leave all the tasks that bring a smile to your face until you feel depleted. If you do, it’s hard to be enthusiastic about even the most eagerly anticipated items on your list.
Create a schedule rather than a To Do List. This gives you a better idea of how much time a task will take. Don’t forget to add everyday responsibilities to your schedule (i.e.: appointments, household chores, coffee with friends, etc.). In this way, you can glance at your planner and see where there are available timeslots. As we hear from many sources, it’s important to leave margins in our schedule. After all, we still tend to overestimate what we can accomplish in any given 16-hour day. (Don’t laugh! Some people actually get eight hours of sleep a night.)
Don’t forget to add REST to your schedule. Many of us feel we must accomplish something every waking moment or our time is wasted. There are countless benefits of going for a walk, curling up with a good book, or simply sitting outside in the sunshine—too many to go into here.

I’d love to hear how you curb your tendency to overestimate what you can accomplish and how you prioritize how you spend your time.

Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.

Weddings, Clients, and Meetings … Oh My! (Guest Post)

1 Reply

Weddings, Clients, and Meetings … Oh My!

by Steph Beth Nickel

Okay, so, I only attended one wedding this month, but the title reads better because I pluralized it. As writers, we’re allowed a little poetic license from time to time.

My son and brand new daughter-in-law had a small ceremony because … COVID. So many friends and family members couldn’t make the trip. I will forever be thankful that my husband and I made it to Saskatchewan from Ontario for the weekend.

Even though we were only away for four days, travel included, it meant we had to shuffle a lot of other responsibilities.

Deadline extensions + a tsunami of tasks + a sense of overwhelm often leads to too much YouTube and not enough time at my computer.

So, how can we handle our schedule when we’d rather vegetate on the couch or pull the covers over our head and sleep for “just five more minutes”?

Here are some suggestions that have either worked for me in the past or I’m planning to implement in the next little while:

Create a list of everything you want to get done. The more detailed the list, the better.

Prioritize the list. Self-care may be a buzzword these days, but getting adequate rest, eating well, keeping physically active, and doing something that feeds your spirit on a regular basis are vital for not only your wellbeing but also for your ability to effectively complete the tasks on your To-Do List. Be sure to include self-care on your list of priorities.

Decide what you can get done each day within reason. I make a mean To-Do List, and because I’m content moving unfinished tasks to the next day, it’s hard for me to create realistic expectations for each day. I’m getting better, but it’s a process for sure.

Back out of at least some responsibilities that don’t rank high on your priority list. This is tough for many of us. People count on us. We don’t like to say no when they ask us to do something, especially something “small.” (Don’t forget the adage about the straw and the camel’s back.) Like me, you may be eclectically interested and eclectically involved. It’s hard to know what to set aside—even temporarily—but it’s a necessary skill.

Assign specific tasks to specific days. Trying to do a little bit of everything on the same day often leads to a sense that you haven’t accomplished anything significant. Completing a single task before moving onto the next one has its benefits, but when that isn’t possible, it’s important to determine how much of one task you will accomplish before moving on. Optionally, you can set a time limit and see how much of the project you can get done in an hour or two for instance. Be content with your progress, and move on, physical and mentally, to the next task.

Beware of mental fog and hair-trigger emotions. We’ve all been there. Unable to concentrate on the task at hand. Snapping at a friend or family member over a non-issue. Feeling that anger, frustration, or anxiety forming in the pit of our stomach. Should we push through? Take a break? Walk away and start fresh tomorrow? Because I work from home and create my own schedule, most times, I have the opportunity to add the task to my next day’s schedule. Even if this isn’t an option, taking a stretch break, reading a novel for 5-10 minutes, or just closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths can make a surprisingly big difference.

Have some fun. “All work and no play …” and all that. Is there something you look forward to every day? I enjoy watching an episode of a show on Netflix or Disney Plus with my hubby each evening. Instead of watching “just one more YouTube episode,” I feel more refreshed when I take a little time to read. And, of course, being an extra extrovert, I love meeting a friend for coffee and a l-o-n-g chat.

How to you deal with overwhelm in your life?

Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.

Narrowing Your Focus (Guest Post)

Leave a reply

Narrowing Your Focus

by Steph Beth Nickel

Despite the craziness that is 2020, many of you have even more balls in the air at this time.

Working from home or in the community.
Learning new tech, like Zoom.
Diving into a new entrepreneurial endeavour.
Fulfilling volunteer responsibilities.
Facilitating your children’s schooling like never before.
Juggling your budget.
Getting used to being together with the same people day in and day out.
Trying to figure out how to stay in touch with friends and family you can’t visit.
Obeying the protocols when you do get together.
Figuring out what Sunday worship looks like.
Figuring out what the holidays will look like.
Arranging drive-by celebrations.
And on and on the list goes.

For months (years?) I’ve been thinking of setting aside specific days of the week for each of my many eclectic pursuits. Well, I finally did so. Mondays are for fulfilling my intern responsibilities and developing my Nurture and Inspire brand. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are for editing, which, for now, will be my primary source of income. Thursdays are for writing. Fridays are for fulfilling my doula recertification responsibilities. Saturdays are for creative endeavours (writing poetry, practicing modern calligraphy, learning to create poured paintings). Sundays are for worship, reading, and resting.

This isn’t a rigid schedule, but it does assure me that I will be able to get more done when I’m not trying to do a little of this and a little of that each day.

Here are nine things to consider if you want to set up a schedule that will help you accomplish more by paring down your To Do List:

Consider what you truly need to do every day.
Remember that you’ll get more done if you don’t switch from one responsibility to the next to the next.
Ask for help. You don’t have to do it all on your own.
Create a flexible and achievable schedule, leaving margins of time for those things beyond your control.
If at all possible, focus on 1-3 main things each day.
Leave time in your schedule for adequate sleep, meal prep, etc.
Offer yourself grace and permission to make changes to your schedule as needed.
Make time for rejuvenation, possibly something as simple as closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths.
Do something fun every week. Every day?

So, how about you? Do you have a daily schedule? A weekly schedule? I’d love to hear what works for you.

Tweetables

Despite the craziness that is 2020, many of you have even more balls in the air. (click to tweet)

A weekly schedule assures you you’ll be able to get more done when you’re not trying to do a little of this and a little of that each day. (click to tweet)

Make time in your schedule for rejuvenation, possibly something as simple as closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths. (click to tweet)

Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.

Why Do We Take On So Much? (Guest Post)

Leave a reply

Why Do We Take On So Much?

by Steph Beth Nickel

Last month, I talked about paring down our To Do list.

Today, I’d like to talk about why we take on as much as we do.

While I can only speak for myself, maybe you can relate.

Financial Need

There may be responsibilities you would like to set aside, but you have bills to pay. I can relate.

For the most part, I enjoy my work outside the home, and we do need the money. Still, there are many days I’d love to stay put and work in my home office and spend time decluttering the stuff I’ve accumulated over the last 30+ years.

I feel for those who have to hold down an “evil day job” in order to make ends meet.

Others’ Dependence

I see this as a two-sided coin. We depend on others and they depend on us. That’s the way life works.

However, when others are so dependent on us that we get drained and have nothing left to give, we need to re-evaluate our To Do list and prayerfully consider what needs to change.

Others’ Expectations

We’ve likely all taken on tasks because someone else thought we should—maybe a family member, employer, or church leader. Maybe it was a casual acquaintance, but we didn’t feel we could say no.

We ought to be able to expect things of one another, but when those expectations become unreasonable, we have to be able to let go of them without resentment or fear of hurting the relationship.

Our Own Expectations

How many times do we think we could take on “just one more thing”—even though we don’t have adequate time or energy?

In my case, the answer is “at least several times a month.”

So, if I could do without sleep and never binge watch Netflix, I could do a lot more than I do now. However, that time would best be spent completing tasks I already have on the go.

The New, Shiny Syndrome

Are you like me?

Do you see something new and shiny, something you already have the skills to accomplish or would like to learn, and jump in with both feet, only to remember you’re carrying the weight of all those other responsibilities and find yourself going under—and then binge watching Netflix because you realize you don’t have the ambition to do anything at all?

Grasping

Sometimes we take on a task because we’re grasping for something. Maybe it’s a sense of acceptance, worth, or accomplishment.

Do we want to admit these truths to ourselves? Definitely not!

Does it help to do so? Absolutely!

Passion

We may have a passion to do something, but that, in and of itself, is not a reason to do something—or not to do it.

Some people refer to it as balance. I like to see it more as tension, the good kind.

Every day we hold things in tension. How much time do we spend on this or that task? How much time do we spend interacting with our family? How much time do we devote to our friends?

Wisdom, we need it in vast amounts.

Calling

As Christians, we often ask ourselves, “What is God’s calling on my life?”

Sometimes, that calling corresponds with our passions, our expectations, our need to earn an income. But we have to be in His Word and spend a significant amount of time in prayer, as well as seek godly counsel, to truly discern what His calling is on our life.

Calling Plus, Plus, Plus

Even after we do have a sense of what God has for us, we may want to do whatever it is—as well as oh, so many other things.

I am definitely in this boat. In fact, I’ve actually made it my houseboat where I spend most of my time.

Is that easy to admit? Nope!

Feel free to hold me accountable as I work this one through.

Rebellion

Though we wouldn’t want to admit it, we may be living in out and out rebellion toward God. Perhaps, we know we should invest our time differently, but we don’t want to.

That’s the bad news, but the good news is that God will forgive us and change our heart if we ask.

An Overinflated Sense of Importance (aka Pride)

Don’t get me wrong. I believe God values us highly. After all, if we had a price tag, it would read, “The Life of God’s Son.”

However, He is God, and well able to accomplish anything He desires—without our help.

Yes, He chooses to accomplish much through His people, but we don’t have to take on every opportunity that comes across our path, thinking, “If I don’t do this, who will?”

Trust God to give you wisdom and to raise up others to accomplish what He isn’t calling us to.

An Unwillingness to Set Aside Already Spinning Plates

I once heard a speaker say she never took on something new unless she knew what other task the Lord would have her set aside. Such a great perspective!

I definitely don’t live this way. I want to keep spinning all the plates.

So, why do you take on the tasks you do? Are there those you believe you ought to set aside?

As believers, we can count on Him to give us the wisdom (and the desire) to do what He’s calling us to—and only those things. But I’m pretty sure this is a lifelong learning opportunity. I’m trusting that I’m on the road to learning this lesson now that I’m staring down my 60^th birthday. (Okay, so, it’s two years off, but when you get to be my age, two years flies by.)

Thanks so much for taking the time to take a closer look at why we do what we do.

Tweetables:

Sometimes we take on a task because we’re grasping for something—a sense of acceptance, worth, or accomplishment for example. (Click to tweet.)

Wisdom, we need it in vast amounts. (Click to tweet.)

God is well able to accomplish anything He desires—without our help. (Click to tweet.)

Photo credit: Jaime Mellor Photography

If you would like more information about her services, you can contact her at stephbethnickelediting@gmail.com.

You’re invited to visit her website: http://stephbethnickeleditor.com/.

You can join her Editing Tips Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/418423519384351.