Tag Archives: setting priorities

Why Do We Take On So Much? (Guest Post)

Why Do We Take On So Much?

by Steph Beth Nickel

Last month, I talked about paring down our To Do list.

Today, I’d like to talk about why we take on as much as we do.

While I can only speak for myself, maybe you can relate.

Financial Need

There may be responsibilities you would like to set aside, but you have bills to pay. I can relate.

For the most part, I enjoy my work outside the home, and we do need the money. Still, there are many days I’d love to stay put and work in my home office and spend time decluttering the stuff I’ve accumulated over the last 30+ years.

I feel for those who have to hold down an “evil day job” in order to make ends meet.

Others’ Dependence

I see this as a two-sided coin. We depend on others and they depend on us. That’s the way life works.

However, when others are so dependent on us that we get drained and have nothing left to give, we need to re-evaluate our To Do list and prayerfully consider what needs to change.

Others’ Expectations

We’ve likely all taken on tasks because someone else thought we should—maybe a family member, employer, or church leader. Maybe it was a casual acquaintance, but we didn’t feel we could say no.

We ought to be able to expect things of one another, but when those expectations become unreasonable, we have to be able to let go of them without resentment or fear of hurting the relationship.

Our Own Expectations

How many times do we think we could take on “just one more thing”—even though we don’t have adequate time or energy?

In my case, the answer is “at least several times a month.”

So, if I could do without sleep and never binge watch Netflix, I could do a lot more than I do now. However, that time would best be spent completing tasks I already have on the go.

The New, Shiny Syndrome

Are you like me?

Do you see something new and shiny, something you already have the skills to accomplish or would like to learn, and jump in with both feet, only to remember you’re carrying the weight of all those other responsibilities and find yourself going under—and then binge watching Netflix because you realize you don’t have the ambition to do anything at all?

Grasping

Sometimes we take on a task because we’re grasping for something. Maybe it’s a sense of acceptance, worth, or accomplishment. 

Do we want to admit these truths to ourselves? Definitely not!

Does it help to do so? Absolutely!

Passion

We may have a passion to do something, but that, in and of itself, is not a reason to do something—or not to do it.

Some people refer to it as balance. I like to see it more as tension, the good kind.

Every day we hold things in tension. How much time do we spend on this or that task? How much time do we spend interacting with our family? How much time do we devote to our friends?

Wisdom, we need it in vast amounts.

Calling

As Christians, we often ask ourselves, “What is God’s calling on my life?”

Sometimes, that calling corresponds with our passions, our expectations, our need to earn an income. But we have to be in His Word and spend a significant amount of time in prayer, as well as seek godly counsel, to truly discern what His calling is on our life.

Calling Plus, Plus, Plus

Even after we do have a sense of what God has for us, we may want to do whatever it is—as well as oh, so many other things.

I am definitely in this boat. In fact, I’ve actually made it my houseboat where I spend most of my time.

Is that easy to admit? Nope!

Feel free to hold me accountable as I work this one through.

Rebellion

Though we wouldn’t want to admit it, we may be living in out and out rebellion toward God. Perhaps, we know we should invest our time differently, but we don’t want to.

That’s the bad news, but the good news is that God will forgive us and change our heart if we ask.

An Overinflated Sense of Importance (aka Pride)

Don’t get me wrong. I believe God values us highly. After all, if we had a price tag, it would read, “The Life of God’s Son.”

However, He is God, and well able to accomplish anything He desires—without our help.

Yes, He chooses to accomplish much through His people, but we don’t have to take on every opportunity that comes across our path, thinking, “If I don’t do this, who will?”

Trust God to give you wisdom and to raise up others to accomplish what He isn’t calling us to.

An Unwillingness to Set Aside Already Spinning Plates

I once heard a speaker say she never took on something new unless she knew what other task the Lord would have her set aside. Such a great perspective!

I definitely don’t live this way. I want to keep spinning all the plates.

So, why do you take on the tasks you do? Are there those you believe you ought to set aside?

As believers, we can count on Him to give us the wisdom (and the desire) to do what He’s calling us to—and only those things. But I’m pretty sure this is a lifelong learning opportunity. I’m trusting that I’m on the road to learning this lesson now that I’m staring down my 60th birthday. (Okay, so, it’s two years off, but when you get to be my age, two years flies by.)

Thanks so much for taking the time to take a closer look at why we do what we do.

Tweetables:

Sometimes we take on a task because we’re grasping for something—a sense of acceptance, worth, or accomplishment for example. (Click to tweet.)

Wisdom, we need it in vast amounts. (Click to tweet.)

God is well able to accomplish anything He desires—without our help. (Click to tweet.)

Steph Beth Nickel
Steph Beth Nickel (Photo by Stephen G. Woo Photography)

Steph Beth Nickel is a communicator who seeks to Nurture and Inspire in her many eclectic endeavours: editing, writing, podcasting, etc. Steph coauthored Paralympian Deb Willows’s memoir, Living Beyond My Circumstances. Steph and Deb are working on a follow-up, tentatively titled Keep Looking Up. Steph is also a regular contributor to HopeStreamRadio. You can connect with her on Facebook or via email.

The Year of JOY (Guest Post)

What's your word of the year for 2019?The Year of JOY

by Steph Beth Nickel

It’s that time of year again.

We’re getting ready to say goodbye to the year gone by and hello to a shiny new year filled with possibility.

For the past few years, I’ve embraced the concept of choosing a word for the year ahead.

The theme for 2019 came more as a series of ideas.

In many respects, I have been living selfishly. I believe God is calling me to follow Jesus’s example as outlined in the book of Philippians, to live more sacrificially.

It’s a matter of doing what is clearly laid out in His Word—no matter how I feel.

As the old saying goes, I’m to “bloom where I’m planted.” (I often fall prey to the Oo! Shiny Syndrome, always chasing a new pursuit, a new online course, a new exercise program.)

Although to many Christians it may sound cliché, it comes down to the acronym J.O.Y., which stands for Jesus, Others, Self.

The Lord summed up the commandments by saying we are to love God with our entire being and love others as we do ourselves.

With His help, I hope to do so more effectively in the next 12 months than ever before.

I realize these concepts will seem basic for anyone who has been a believer for any amount of time. However, if we truly seek to live this way, it will affect us—and those around us—in ways we can only begin to imagine.

Does this mean everything is going to change?

Have I stopped dreaming big? Far from it. I hope to get my Nurture and Inspire brand out into the world for real in 2019.

Am I going to stay out of my favourite physical and online stores? That’s highly unlikely, but I do intend to (re)discover the books, courses, and journals I already have on hand.

Do I think if something excites me and gets the adrenaline pumping it must be selfish and set to one side? Not necessarily.

But do I think that those things that make me giddy are always part of God’s plan for me? Absolutely not! I must be more intentional about discovering why I want to pursue something new.

The funny thing is to live a self-sacrificial life means I’ll have to pay close attention to what makes me tick. It isn’t so much about what I do over the next 12 months but why I do what I do.

So, how can we select a theme for the New Year?

  1. Pray about it. It’s important to invite the Lord to be part of this and every other area of our life.
  2. Be attentive. Inspiration can come from any number of places.
  3. Create a list of achievable goals. Do they have a common thread?
  4. Reorganize our list of goals according to our priorities.
  5. Take a close look at our life. Does it truly line up with those priorities?
  6. Be willing to make a course correction—or several—as the need arises.

How about you? What is your theme, your word, for 2019?

~~~

Steph Beth Nickel

Steph Beth Nickel (Photo by Stephen G. Woo Photography)

Stephanie (Steph Beth) Nickel is an award-winning co-author, a freelance editor and writer, a labour doula, and a former personal trainer. She also loves to speak, teach, and take slice-of-life photos. She would love to connect with you on Facebook or Twitter.

Guest Post: How Busy is Too Busy?

How Busy is Too Busy?

Steph Beth Nickel

A few months ago I came across Jonny Diaz’s song “Breathe.” (If you haven’t heard it, I encourage you to check it out on YouTube.)

There’s a difference between hitting the ground running in the morning and go, go, going until you collapse into bed at night and having a full schedule.

Image Credit: Pixabay

Image Credit: Pixabay

How do you set a reasonable schedule and avoid becoming too busy?

Here are some questions to ask:

Do I get to the end of the day and experience a sense of accomplishment?

When bedtime rolls around and we’re focused more on what we weren’t able to accomplish than what we got done, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate our expectations. There’s only so much any one of us can do.

Do I schedule time for those activities that “recharge my batteries”?

Sometimes it isn’t about doing less but instead, doing those things that energize us. Taking a walk with my hubby after supper, even when I don’t feel like it, is usually a better option than watching “one more episode” of a TV program. And if I plop in front of “the tube” for hours, I feel drained. If I, however, pick up a book—or two or three—I feel as if I’ve accomplished something, even if said books are fiction.

And speaking of TV and books …

Can I read for leisure or watch my favourite TV program without nodding off?

It’s a pretty good indication that our days may be just a little too full—or that we need to add physical activity to our schedule—if we fall asleep during our downtime.

Am I too busy to exercise?

I know it may seem impossible to include exercise in our day, but it’s important to remember that regular physical activity usually makes it easier to think clearly and work more efficiently. Plus, it will likely help us sleep more soundly. Bonus!

And don’t forget that exercise doesn’t necessarily mean spending endless hours at the gym or running for miles every day. Find a physical activity you enjoy (swimming, biking, joining a recreational sports team) and keep at it, and watch the changes happen.

Do most of my meals come from the freezer or the drive-through at my local fast food restaurant?

I am definitely averting my eyes and humming as I share this thought. I have big dreams of planning the week’s menu and shopping for necessary ingredients on the weekend, but it just doesn’t happen. One day. One day.

Does my house look like a bomb fell most days?

My home will never, ever, ever get the Good Housekeeping seal of approval. However, I do want to do better. And for this to happen, I have to schedule “hometending,” as one of my friends calls it. In order to add sufficient time each day, something else has to go—but not necessarily downtime.

Do I consider time with family and friends just one more thing to scratch off my To Do list?

If we feel like spending time with the important people in our life is an inconvenience and keeps us from doing what we feel we should be doing—or what we truly want to do—it’s time to rework our schedule and possibly, take a closer look at our priorities.

Do those things I feel called to do (like writing a book for instance) keep getting pushed to the bottom of the list?

If there is a dream that just won’t go away, it’s quite possible the Lord has placed that dream in our heart. There will always be responsibilities that seem more important that divert us from pursuing the calling. We may think it isn’t realistic or that we could never actually do what it is, but I encourage you to set some time aside. Really pray about it and “get your feet wet.”

Do you feel as if you want to write a book? Read books on the writing craft. Attend a workshop or a conference. Connect with a Facebook group for writers. There are dozens, if not hundreds. But most of all, you’ll have to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), remembering that first drafts are often much different than the final version.

No matter what your calling, ask God to open the doors before you—and be willing to walk through each one.

Do I set aside time to study the Bible and prayer each day?

As Christians, this is the key question. If we are not studying God’s Word and praying regularly, our agenda will never fall in line. If we don’t have time to pursue our First Love, it’s a guarantee that we are too busy.

Scroll down to the comments form to share your thoughts.

Tweetables:

Let your priorities guide your schedule.

Don’t forget to schedule downtime.

Steph Beth Nickel

Steph Beth Nickel
(Photo by Stephen G. Woo Photography)

Stephanie (Steph Beth) Nickel is an award-winning co-author, a freelance editor and writer, a labour doula, and a former personal trainer. She also loves to speak, teach, and take slice-of-life photos. She would love to connect with you on Facebook or Twitter, on her website or blog.